10 Essential Elements of Dignity

10 Essential Elements of Dignity

From the work of Donna Hicks
Weatherhead Center for International Affairs
Harvard University

(Summary from "Dignity: The Role it Plays in Our Lives and Relationships" a public talk with Donna Hicks)

What does it look like to honor dignity? All ten are key, but she highlighted three in particular that can make a big difference.

• Acknowledgement. This act has almost “magical” powers and a “disarming” effect, said Hicks, since the last thing the other party in a conflict ever expects is for their viewpoint to be acknowledged. Receiving this validation helps them open up to healing.

• Safety. Physical safety is something we understand. But safety comes in many forms. One very important example is that in hierarchical situations, such as those that define most of our organizations, individuals need to know that it’s safe to speak up about problems or injustices. The truth, said Hicks, is that in too many of our organizations, people remain “terrified” to speak the truth about their experience.

• Benefit of the doubt. This one is “huge,” Hicks said. Avoiding the “rush to judgment” is always hard, especially so in conflict situations. But when we give people the benefit of the doubt, and assume the best rather than the worst, good things happen. People will act exactly how you label them, she suggested. If, for example, you think someone is distrustful, “you’re going to get that back.”

Here are the 10 Essential elements of Dignity (link)

Acceptance of Identity
Approach people as neither inferior nor superior to you; give others the freedom to express their authentic selves without fear of being negatively judged; interact without prejudice or bias, accepting how race, religion, gender, class, sexual orientation, age, disability, etc. are at the core of their identities. Assume they have integrity.

Recognition
Validate others for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness, and help; be generous with praise; give credit to others for their contributions, ideas and experience.

Acknowledgment
Give people your full attention by listening, hearing, validating and responding to their concerns and what they have been through.

Inclusion
Make others feel that they belong at all levels of relationship (family, community, organization, nation).

Safety
Put people at ease at two levels: physically, where they feel free of bodily harm; and psychologically, where they feel free of concern about being shamed or humiliated, that they feel free to speak without fear of retribution.

Fairness
Treat people justly, with equality, and in an evenhanded way, according to agreed upon laws and rules.

Independence
Empower people to act on their own behalf so that they feel in control of their lives and experience a sense of hope and possibility.

Understanding
Believe that what others think matters; give them the chance to explain their perspectives, express their points of view; actively listen in order to understand them.

Benefit of the Doubt
Treat people as trustworthy; start with the premise that others have good motives and are acting with integrity.

Accountability
Take responsibility for your actions; if you have violated the dignity of another, apologize; make a commitment to change hurtful behaviors

Self Preservation Instincts that Hinder Dignity

We hinder our dignity when we:

Take the bait
Allowing the bad behavior of others to determine your own by lashing back and getting even.

Save face
Succumbing to the desire not to look bad in the eyes of others instead of telling the truth about what you have done.

Shirk responsibility
Staying silent instead of holding yourself accountable for your actions.

Seek false dignity
Deriving your sense of self-worth from external sources only instead of claiming your inherent self-worth.

Seek false security
Making excuses for staying in an abusive, dignity violating relationship.

Avoid Confrontation
Allowing someone to violate your dignity without speaking up.

Claim Victimhood
Assuming you are an innocent victim in a failed relationship

Resist Feedback
Deflecting feedback about your blind spots that others can see and you cannot.

Blame and shame others to deflect your guilt
Not being able to tolerate being exposed of a wrongdoing; instead, placing the blame on others.

Gossip
Talking about others in a negative way in order to connect with others.