One main topic of the blogs for the first year involve "advice for living" or recipes for "the good life." In the Buddhist stuff I've read, there seems to be guides for living called "right living" that include "right speech" and other things.
Not right living/ paying attention & noticing/ being curious/ praising & being grateful/ living with intention/ recipe for the good life/ relationships/ right speaking/ psychology and therapy
Not Right Living
"The Comfort Crisis" (September 27, 2021) is from the opening chapter of the book by that title. It's an eloquent phrasing of the problem of daily comfort. (I will add a piece from the Emerson bio I'm reading where Emerson eloquently writes about Londoners feet never touching the ground.)
"How did we get to be so alienated?" (September 15, 2021) is from Richard Powers' interview in the NYT. The key part is about how we lost a vital connection to the natural world. Powers also talks about how novels that are based on "psychology" are a bit of luxury in this crisis.
"Dragging Us Away from Listening" (April 11, 2021) from a 1999 journal... me feeling like I was passionless. if we could only open ourselves to look and listen to the real world -- the colors, the birds, you'd be at peace. It's just a matter of ego and stresses and appointments that drag us away from listening. But tonight, lyingin bed, I feel like I'm approaching the edge of a canyon... without direction or passion -- not at peace, unloved, undirected, fishing for something.
"On Disappearing" (September 4, 2021) involves a quotation from Tweedy in an Ezra Klein interview. There, Tweedy says disappearing into his work is good, but often people disappear into their phones or alcohol. The posting also has a number of quotes from "Never Let Me Go" which deal with the negative concept of disappearing -- hiding.
"Temper and Anxiety and Energy" (March 19, 2021) is an old journal from 2013/2016 reflecting on how I was 'maintaing my energy' and being short tempered... and how it melted away after a realization.
"The World Will Not Devote Itself To Making You Happy" (November 21, 2020) is a quotation about how to live the good life from George Bernard Shaw. Instead, he wants to devote himself to his community to make things better. He wants to be a torch, not a brief candle. I especially like the concept of checking yourself -- the world is not made to make you happy.
"On 'getting to' rather than 'having to'" (November 5, 2020). This is a journal entry from 2016 on this day. I name "the football stance" way of life -- being asked to do thing, waiting for the next thing thrown at you. Thoreau, on November 4, 1862, in "Autumnal Tints," writes "There is as much beauty visible to us in the landscape as we are prepared to appreciate, -- not a grain more."
"On the Costs of Recreation" (October 24, 2020) is a series of longer passages from Waiting for the Weekend by Witold Rybczynski. It's about Marie Antoinette (and modern people) pretending to recreate and the costs of doing so.
Paying Attention/Noticing
"Document Your Back Yard" (November 26, 2021) is a TAoN prompt.Document your own backyard — exploring and paying attention to what you love about it and the small details that make the space an important part of your home.*backyard can mean anything within 300 meters of your home
"Declare it Art" (November 19, 2021) is a TAoN propmpt. Imagine yourself a curator.. Decide what, among the things you notice, you might declare public works of art.
"Give Yourself a Pointless Mission" (October 17, 2021) is a Rob Walker AON suggestion. Here, it's visiting all the swimming pools in NO.
"Put Yourself in Position to Have Wild Moments" (October 4, 2021) is from The Comfort Crisis. The idea is to move your body to places where there will be wildness, beauty. Seems obvious, right? Great nature sitings won't happen in your living room.
"Buy, Burn, or Steal" (September 28, 2021) is a Rob Walker AoN idea - go into an art museum and play this game.
"Anticipate Beauty" (September 24, 2021) has two quotations from HDT that say that you have to be like a hunter, who can anticipate his prey, and wait patiently in the right place, to find beauty.
"Personal Landmarks" (September 23, 2021) is a noticing exercise from Rob Walker: go through your old photos and return to places you've taken photos of before. This post also has a link to the Library of the Forest that I original found in Robert Macfarlane's book, The Old Ways.
"Sound Diary" (September 16, 2021) is Rob Walker's AoN game of listening all the sounds you hear. This is, I know, not very exciting!
"Anti-Habit" (August 27, 2021) is a list of noticing exercises from Rob Walker to counteract the taking for granted that we usually do.
"Putting Your Ear Close to the Soul" (August 18, 2021) is a long post about Emerson and Mary Rotch about the Quaker idea of the Inner Light and listening carefully to your deepest feelings. It's the heart of his idea of self-reliance.
"Uplifting the Common Moments" (August 16, 2021) is a Richardson quote about Emerson's belief that the poet had the ability to have a direct relationship to the world and his own ability to uplift the common moments of life into almost mystical experiences.... an ability he never lost.
"Paying or Gifting Attention" (July 19, 2021) is about how different languages have various conventions about paying attention... do you "pay" it? "gift" it? "lend" it? Also references Jenny Odell and Simone Weil's famous quotation.
"The Morning Wind Forever Blows" (July 4, 2021) is a quotation from Henry David Thoreau from Walden that talks about how "the poem of creation is uninterrupted" by few notice it.
"Attention and Love" (June 27, 2021) is a summary of several poems from Billy Collins' "Aimless Love" collected poems that outline his picture of "right living" -- loving attention, a realization of the transitory nature of things.
"Perpetual Morning" (June 22, 2021) is a quotation from Henry David Thoreau from Walden which suggests that morning can happen all day if you are constantly "awakening," which I read as mindfulness.
"Hockney Pages Through a Sketchbook" (June 15, 2021) is a video where Hockney wordlessly pages through one of his 2019 sketchbooks -- everything catches his eye.
"3 Questions of Right Living" (April 14, 2021) is a summary of 3 things questions we should be asking ourselves (all linked to earlier posts): who are our teachers, what do we like, what life-changing things have happened recently (vacations, days).
"This and this and over here this" (March 23, 2021) is a reflection on being aware serially and "comprehensively" and good awareness/attention happens. It's a longer post.
"Response to and Exploration of" (March 11, 2021) is about an art project that reflects (in art) on one topic for a number of days. It references Nina Katchadourian's gallery show responding to a a shipwreck.
"Write Down Tiny Details" (March 4, 2021) is a short piece in NYT that says just that: I try to write down the most mundane details of the day. Today, I might write something about the fact that I reheated farro for lunch or that I spoke to somebody at The Times about a computer problem. Those tiny details that make up a day are the things we’ll forget when we look back on this time.
"More Beauty, Less Ugly" (January 23, 2021) is a quotation from E.O. Plaven that says that drawing things - animals, nature - makes things less ugly. It's a recommendation to draw more often.
"Two More 'Art of Noticing' Exercises" (December 8, 2020) This records two "noticing exercises" that I had (already) invented -- analog v. digital, and set the timer on a hike for 5 mins and take a pic.
"Things I Learned from The Art of Noticing" (November 18, 2020) This is the mother lode -- some 31 entries of the best "noticing" exercises from Rob Walker's book of that title. A huge trove of ideas.
"When the mind is not clouded by unnecessary things" (November 16, 2020) is a haiku by Wumen Huikai. Blossoms in spring, moon in autumn, breeze in summer, snow in winter... "if your mind is not clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season." It reminds me of Marie Howe's "The Gate."
"On Viewing Life not distracted by Context" (November 14, 2020) is about viewing the world through Corita Kent's "finders" (aka slide holders with no film in them) to decontextualize the view.
"On 'this ever new life'" (November 1, 2020) is a Thoreau quotation from November 1 that says, yes there is death in the fall, but also the promise of picking nuts and cracking them in the winter. I add a Goldstein quotation about being aware of the constantly changing and new world.
"The Noticing Game" (October 19, 2020) includes images from cartoonist Grant Snider, writer Keri Smith, Susan Susanka along with short memory of my own. It's about making a game of noticing new things. Later, this theme comes back with Rob Walker and Ellen Langer.
"On being receptive and attentional hygiene" (October 7, 2020) This is a first attempt at bringing together a number of ideas -- Gatsby, seismographs, attentional hygenein, HDT on 'being where my body is." Monkey mind.
"Awe walks" (October 6, 2020) is about that topic and its benefits to people which Gretchen Reynolds tackled in the NYT. Also wrote about my haiku a day project.
"Tantalizing temporariness" (September 27, 2020) starts with me wanting to have a text copy of Zero Cost House, a play Jennie and I watched online on Zoom. It goes on to ruminate about being an original audience of Mozart... how you must sit on the edge of your seat to take it all in! (because you wouldn't hear it again likely). Also I add The Shelering Sky quotation.
Being Curious
"He Slowed Down for the Most Mundane Things"
(November 11, 2021) feels like a thesis statement of Bewilderment by
Richard Powers. It's about being open to the ecstasy and beauty of the
world.
"Patterns and Anomalies" (August 23, 2021) is a PBS video profile of Bernt Heinrich who is a runner and writer and nature observer. The video shows his constantly curious, noticing, and paying attention to anomalies in nature.
"Five Types of Curiosity" (August 8, 2021) is Todd Kashden (author of Curious?) new hypothesis of five distinct types of curiosity, things like thrill seeking, social curiosity (listening in to conversations), joy of learning, introspection...
"Indifference vs. Curiosity" (August 7, 2021) is a quote from cartoonist Tove Janson about her recipe for right living -- never grow indifferent. And a photo of her swimming.
"He became one of my teachers" (April 13, 2021) was a part of quotation by Thubten Chodron. It's about being aware of who you are learning from.
"On 6x10s and Brief Habits" (February 7, 2021) is the origin story of my desire to use 6x10s to tame my distractedness.
"Analog vs. Digital" (December 8, 2020) begins as a reflection on a thought from Multnomah Falls, then goes on to reflect on the way that we normally just follow "the path" ignorant of the fact that there are millions of other ways we can go (each step could begin another journey perpendicular to the trail). This is a good posting.
"Stimulating Your Awareness of Beauty and Wonder" (November 13, 2020) is a description of how to keep a nature journal by John Muir Laws -- draw, write, measure. One side effect is to stimulate your awareness of beauty and wonder. I'm more interested in that side effect rather than the particular description of how to do journaling in this way.
"Five ideas about 'meeting the world'" (November 6, 2020) is a summary of 5 things I'd written about in the first 50 days of blogging about the right "interface" with the world. ... one of which is "opening to the unknown world as thrilling rather than threat."
Being Grateful/Praising
"The Beginning of Something Else" (November 27, 2021) is a quote by Fred Rogers about not focusing on endings. Often when you are at the end of something, you are at the beginning of something else.
"Name what you love" (November 22, 2021) is Jeff Tweedy's Starship Casual newsletter. A simple list of I Love... along with some concrete things.
"Life is Something We Should Stop Correcting" (October 28, 2021) is a quotation from the beginning of Richard Powers' Bewilderment. In one paragraph there are 3 tee-shirt-worthy phrases that are about being more "reverent" (?) towards life as it is.
"7 Ways to Practice Gratitude" (October 24, 2021) is a graphic- give a compliment, keep a journal, etc.
"Because the sailor and the ship and the sea are one" (October 15, 2021) is a quotation from Emerson's biography. It's his philosophical/mystical realization of the inter-relations of things (after reading the Bhagavad Gita. "Worship is the height of right conduct." This is an idea that I've thought a lot about since writing this.
"It is this way with wonder" (October 11, 2021) is from "World of Wonder"... t is this way with wonder: it takes a bit of patience, and it takes putting yourself in the right place at the right time. It requires that we be curious enough to forgo our small distractions in order to find the world. It also describes the challenge of bringing wonder to kids who are always indoors.
"Take a Gratitude Photo" (October 1, 2021) is an AON game that is exactly what it sounds like. It's like making a list, but with a single photo.
"Do You Matter?" (September 5, 2021) is one of my most interesting posts of the year first year of blogging. It stems from watching Never Let Me Go. It reflects on the difference between hating and "not mattering" and how humans get to feeling like they don't really matter -- and how mattering is a one-on-one thing. The lesson I draw from this is "Ultimately, these are lessons for me: have you shown kindness to anyone? have you shown tenderness? compassion? interest?" I also relate this to "gift giving."
"A Great Lesson He Taught Me without Trying To" (September 3, 2021) is Jeff Tweedy in an Ezra Klein interview. He speaks about his father who would deal with emotion with the impulse to make art. I especially like the phrasing about how we learn lessons from each other.
"Unearned happiness" (August 21, 2021) is a phrase from Richardson's Emerson biography. The phrase is connected to how Emerson felt towards his first wife after she died. It makes me think about what "earned happiness" might be, too.
"The Way a Cloud Fills With Rain" (July 9, 2021) is about a section of Billy Collins' poem "Istambul" that describes taking pleasure in a simple act and how gratefulness fills you up.
"Happiness that's not too big" (March 25, 2021) is a quote about appreciating little things.
“Some people want to feel happiness that’s too big,” Takei Moore said. “But for me, every day, I just look for something small.” Also: Master Eckhardt: "If the only prayer you only said was thank you, that would suffice."
"Virtuous Cycle of Being Grateful" (March 22, 2021) Short narrative about 2 teachers who are 'grateful' via email to parents about kids, and how that makes THEMSELVES feel better both when they write it and when they get responses back from parents.
"Thorns Yet Blossoms" (March 21, 2021) is a haiku by Issa Kobayashi which helps us remember that the world is both.... thorns YET blossoms. I reflect on how it's so easy to focus on thorns.... be primed for thorns.
"Hokusai Says" (March 3, 2021) is a poem about a Japanese print block artist by Robert Keyes that Tara Brach references in a couple different places. It includes the line "let life live through you.
"100 Things That Made My Year" (January 1, 2021) is a link to three years of google doc lists.
"On What is Enough" (December 24, 2020) maybe my favorite post of the year? Thubten Chodron interviewed on 10% Happier by Dan Harris. She challenges the normal "never enough" love, money, fame, etc with the simple "It is good enough." and "you are enough."
"Above Everything" (December 22, 2020) is a poem by David Ignatow that starts with suicidal thoughts and ends with general praise for existence and particulars of the world.
"My Thanksgiving is Perpetual" (November 26, 2020) is a passage from a Thoreau letter saying that he's happy and grateful for what he has... and he's always thankful.
"How Little I realize all the Life" (September 28, 2020) takes its title from a Thoreau quote, but mostly relates the post-run perceptions that I have that are trippy. A good description of them I come back to later.
Living with Intention and Passion
"Why do you feel good?" (November 25, 2021) is a screenshot of the new Insight timer app which asks how do you feel, then why do you feel good (provides a 12 options - family, friends, studies, etc.) then digs deeper - feel anything else (bored, tired, lonely, stressed) etc. (not sure if I've posted this in the right place!)
"Catalog of Concord's Do-Nothing" (November 16, 2021) is an appreciation of the catalog-style writing of Emerson. I'm beginning to make a connection between catalog and being aware and noticing the world.
"The Act On Which the Whole World Revolves" (October 30, 2021) is about drinking tea mindfully. It contains quotations from Thich Nhat Hanh
"Building Your Framing Muscle" (October 26, 2021) is a longer posting that borrows from ZenHabits extensively. It suggests a practice of reframing our attitudes so that we see parts of our day as "opportunities" to... I have a version of this list of things we can reframe as on the cover of my notebook. This topic is something I've been thinking a lot about.
"Are you not important enough to do it for?" (September 29, 2021) is from The Comfort Crisis and refers do the "do a hard thing occassionally" thing of misogis. The idea is that no one is watching -- no social media, etc. -- so you get the chance to do it for yourself.
"Overflowing Plenty, of energy, of impatient haste" (August 26, 2021) are quotes from Emerson's biography that show him (through his list making, his cataloging) filled to the brim with energy.
"Habit of Delight and enthusiasm" (August 25, 2021) is a selection from the Robert Richardson Emerson biography that establishes a key feature of Emerson's life philosophy is his experience of the natural wild world as delight and light.
"Zero" (June 23, 2021) is a poem by Wendel Berry that seems to be about right living, starting off into the world afresh each day with passion, with intention, starting from no place -- from "zero."
"God in Us - Enthusiasm" (June 3, 2021) is a response to a section in Emerson: a Life of the Mind, which relates how a young Emerson is excited about Mme. de Stahl's writing on enthusiasm (literally "god in us") and how she claims that the German spirit is about doing this with enthusiams. I noted that this seems related to Buddhist ideas of being mindfully aware of the present, in a state of openness, gratefulness, curiosity.
"On Being Lit Up" (April 25, 2021) responds to Leo Babuata's blog post about bringing passion into everyday activities. I reflect that it involves being "analog" not "digital" and about being SPECIFIC, not general.
"Bring Freedom to Everyday Activities" (April 24, 2021) is a general summary of "right living" things and a reflection that I still need to work on "looking forward to".... and I trace it to "an attitude," "the future tense of grateful." Connections to Thubten Chodron, Marie Howe, Leo Babuata, Kurt Vonnegut.
"Ikigai" (April 16, 2021) is a selection from "Blue Zones" author X who uses this Japanese term for "life passion." For him, ikigai seem more than just pursuing your passion, like golfing or knitting, but it also included an element of responsibility. Like, you get to a certain age and you can go ahead and do the job or work that fuels your flow, but you should also be thinking about giving back.
"Attitude Towards Time" (April , 2021) is a reflection on a variety of ways of thinking about the passage of time, stemming from Christiane Wolfe's phrase "nowhere to go, nothing to be." It's not "waiting for" anything. It's a different thing than saying "you should be appreciative and curious" and more like watching the clouds go by.
"A Modest Quest" (January 15, 2021) is about making life a series of modest quests -- doing little field trips -- like my visit to the esker after reading about it in Chicago Wilderness -- or Rob Walker's story about biking to the last "milestone" on an old trolley line. Also, I tie in quests of "reading everything by X author" or "listening to all the music by X"
"A Year of Maximum Enthusiasm" (January 14, 2021) is based on a funny Outside mag article that suggests that you get excited about life. Get pumped, rather than being grumpy. It has this quote from Kurt Vonnegut: “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’” Also: Your life, even the bad parts, is fucking amazing. And most of the small things that make up your life are amazing, too—mountain-bike rides, rock climbs, ski runs, sunsets, stars, friends, people, girlfriends and boyfriends, dogs, songs, movies, jokes, smiles ... hell, even that burrito you ate for lunch today was pretty phenomenal, wasn’t it?
"What is Life Calling Me to Do?" (January 7, 2021) is a reflection from my journal of September 2020: Be positive, be supportive, care for others, make others feel supported
"On Not Giving Up" (January 6, 2021) is a passage from Jeff Tweedy's Write One Song that (right after he has a section on "Put it Away" (meaning give up on a song), "Don't Put it Away". And it's about how giving up becomes a habit. While making it through goals makes you feel good.
"On Setting Intentions" (December 28, 2020) starts with a sign in a bathroom in Door County that Jennie saw and references a number of different authors/thinkers about the importance of SETTING intentions and doing things (like complimenting people) INTENTIONALLY.
"50 Things to be Exited About" (November 15, 2020) is a list of 40-some things that I'd recorded in my daily "things I'm excited about list" as well as a reflection about how hard it is to continue to be excited. I have a photo of Paul Thek's "96 Sacraments" and a quote about dulling grad school and how our job is "to keep our soul alive."
"On 'what are you for?" and the integrity of your life" (November 8, 2020) A couple quotes from Terry Tempest William's Erosion and Fred Rogers and Wendell Berry. We know what we are against, but what are we for? Our friend Ben Cromwell asked this question. What are you for? What do you love?
"Breathing Spaces in a Society Increasingly Holding Its Breath" (November 7, 2020) A couple sections from Terry Tempest Williams' Erosion about the quote above and about how one person she profiles was a troubled teen and then went on a kind of vision quest in the woods for 8 days alone in the woods. I reflect on getting "underneath" modern day influence.
"On Meeting the World with the Expectation of Beauty" (October 19, 2020) is a good description of the right living idea: meet the world with expectation of beauty, build the ability to be excited and seek beauty. It contains several quotes - Basho's "there has never been anything that is not a flower" and Goldsworthy's "I take the opportunity that each day offers" and "Be Silent/Seek Beauty." The photo is a kindergarten kid's Goldsworthy-esque art project. A really nice blog post!
"Open heartedness vs. Closed Heartedness" (October 18, 2020) is a short post about the right living stance of being unfisted, like a open flower. Mostly it's naming those things/metaphors/images for meditation or daily living.
Recipe for the Good Life
"What returns is not what went away" (November 21, 2021) A quotation by Louise gluck saying just that. Everything returns, but... Not sure exactly where to file this.
"Accepting Those Invitations You Can" (November 17, 2021) is a kind of summary of Emerson's biography by Robert Richardson. It's 10 things that core ideas.
"On Inner Beauty" (October 22, 2021) is an interview with this nun. She talks about losing weight, but also about what inner beauty and outer beauty are. Compassion, generosity, humility. Ease and joy and serenity. The courage to face everything. Honesty. Integrity.
"As much transitional surface as possible" (October 13, 2021) is from Emerson's biography. It suggests that transition are the most interesting, creative times, moving from one thing to another. the seashore. The approach or departure of a friend.
"Silence is Worth Seeking" (October 5, 2021) is from The Comfort Zone book and talks about ubiquitous noise and dearth of silence. Also about an anechoic chamber.
"The chief end of man" (August 26, 2021) is two quotes from Emerson. His answer is "not begetting fortunes," but self-exploration, your own "culture."
"7 Lessons from the Olympic Games" (August 8, 2021) is a Tweet link by Steve Magness and a quote from him about a high jumper who reflects in her journal after each jump. Of course I like the "7 lessons from" and I like the idea of the reflection.
"Something Worth Sharing Every Day" (August 2, 2021) is a Tweet by Adam Grant that says that if you don't learn something worth sharing every day, maybe you may not be spending enough time learning. (I like the "spending enough time".... like if you're gaining weight, you might need to spend more time exercising.
"Another Rivet in the Universe" (August 1, 2021) is HDT quotation from the Conclusion of Walden saying that you should do your work well... so you don't have to worry about your house falling down if you do it right. And only then will God help you.
What is Fundamentally Good for You" (July 16, 2021) takes a quotation from Chang-Rae Lee's "My Year Abroad" as a jumping off point for talking about our task of knowing (for ourselves) our own recipe for a "good life."
"John Wooden's Pyramid of Success" (July 1, 2021) reflects on how Austin Kleon's books are really a recipe for the good life, as is the famous John Wooden pyramid of Success, as is the 8-fold path.
"Ellen Langer and Mindfulness" (June 6, 2021) is an exploration of a couple Ellen Langer podcasts I listened to. She's the "godmother of mindfulness" or something like that. Her take on mindfulness is completely secular. There's a lot in this posting, including some summarizing of key ideas that I'm connecting between meditation practice and the good life.
"At Home in the World" (May 16, 2021) are some numbered ideas about how we can/should live with ease in a variety of settings. It's a summary of ideas I'd been thinking.
"Curiosity as Gravity" (May 5, 2021) is a longer post that is put together from three things - a re-typing of a 2013 journal that I wrote about wanting to live a life fueled by curiosity rather than goals (something I'm thinking about/writing about in my journals in August 2021!), a quote from a biochemist about finding your passion, and a quote from a book called "Your Money or Your Life" about recognizing your passion and your connection to people in need, and doing something about it.
"What You Really Want to Do" (May 2, 2021) reads like the introduction to a chapter on finding out what YOU, in all your particulars, really want and need. There are links to T Bone Burnett and Barbara Love 2.0. What is the thing/s that enliven?
"Life Changing Day" (April 9, 2021) is about how how we uncover little things that could change our lives in even small ways (like a picture of a garden). How all days could be life-changing days.
"Surround Yourself" (April 4, 2021) is this quote from Brad Stulberg: Just like you become your habits, you also become the people with whom you surround yourself. Choose wisely.You
might think this means happy or positive people. But I'd challenge you
to also think about it as authentic, vulnerable, honest, humble, and
curious people too
"Figuring out what you like" (March 18, 2021) is a link to a PBS video of T. Bone Burnett along with his quote: "The very thing an artist does is figure out what he likes." -
"Adding Margins to Things" (March 16, 2021) reflecting on pomodoros and "adding breaks." Tara Brach says: "Learning to pause brings you to what's happening. The pause frees you
from habits and patterns and creates a space for clarity and empathy and
respond in a balanced way. You can remember what's really important."
"Do What You Love" (February 11, 2021) is a link to a Semi-Rad Outside biographical piece (with broken links! for images!) that tells the story that if you do what you love, and do it every day, you'll be successful.
"Andy Goldsworthy - Walking Through Hedges" (February 9, 2021) is a longer quotation from Goldsworthy about a current project. He talks about "walking on the path" or "walking through hedges" and The point of my art is that I learn through what I'm making. I go to nature not to impose things upon it but to feed from it to try to understand what is going on.
"Questions for the Second Half of Your Life" (February 2, 2021) is Shauna Niequest's "if you had a full bank account, and a blank calendar, what would you do with your life?" Lots of connections to other posts: This reminds me of James Hollis work. This is related to questions to ask at the beginning of the year by Leo Baubauta.And Questions that Frame Your Day, and questions to ask kids.
"6 Big Influences on Who You'll Become" (January 26, 2021) is an interesting list I found on Twitter. What you consume, who your friends are, what you tell yousrself.... I don't know if it's right, but it's an interesting list.
"Questions that Frame Your Day" (January 25, 2021) is a good posting. It's a journal entry from 2018. It posits that WHICH questions you ask make a difference. And it lists a bunch of good questions to ask yourself.
"40 Day Discomfort Challenge" (January 19, 2021) is a reflection on Leo Babatua's self-imposed challenge. The key part for me is that the things we find uncomfortable are the things that we are avoiding... often there is self-hiding worked in there. His list of the benefits of challenging ourselves is really nice.
"Questions to Start the Year - and Finally Doing the Thing" (January 16, 2021) is Leo B talking about a series of "day starting" and "year starting" questions, but also the inertia of doing all the stuff BEFORE doing the thing, but not actually getting started.... out of uncertainty, fear, etc. It's something that resonates with me!
"100 Hours, 100 Days" (January 12, 2021) is an old journal entry about my summer attempts at doing 100 hours of a certain thing -- being outside, doing gardening, reading, guitaring -- over the summer (it's 90 minutes per day). I note the unexpected benefits of doing it this way.
"Time Paradox Questions" (January 7, 2021) Phil Zambrado's questions for reflection: Who Was I? List 3 significant events that occurred in your life. What positive messages can be taken from these events? How can the lesson improve your future? Who will I Be? Answer the question 15 times.
"Zen Monk's Habits and and looking back at old habits" (January 4, 2021) contains five different chunks - story of Zen Monk using an app to do his daily stuff (including 'give and receive compliments'), my own checklist of habits 3.0, advice to look back to your old habits that you built during pandemic for encouragement, Gottman's advice to build a habit of doing nice things for your partner, advice to be grateful "to someone" "for something" and "for yourself" and a NYT drawn T-chart that says you should reflect on "do more/do less"
"Acceptance is not resignation" (December 8, 2020) is a reflection on a JKZ quote I found in a Brad Stulberg article. I emphasize "things are the way they are, independent from our wanting them to be different." I comment on the quality of mental energy it is to "wanting things to be different." This idea of 'quality of mental energy' is something I was reflecting on for a time this year, but have stopped reflecting on it...but it seems useful.
"Brad Stulberg's Daily Practices That Compound" (December 5, 2020) Two lists of habits that have far-reaching benefits. It's a nice daily list because it also has the 'why' behind it.
"Being Open to Change" (October 31, 2020) is a passage from John Lewis's March that shows Kennedy saying that he's been changed by the younger, less powerful man. I reflect that this openness to THIS KIND of change is also important.
"On 'the purest of human pleasures'" (October 27, 2020) quotes several passages from Witold Rybczynski's Waiting for the Weekend. It gives some brief details about the best English gardens, differentiates between natural and English gardens, and references Bacon's title quotation, since gardens give recreation and leisure.
"On the prime instrument of pleasure" (October 26, 2020) references Witold Rybczynski's Waiting for the Weekend and the idea that the automobile is the chief instrument of pleasure. I contradict that with the bike, referencing a recent Outside magazine article about the pleasures of the e-bike and reflect on the joys I've had in riding to work 56 times this year so far.
"I do trades and the hand chosen life" (October 12, 2020) The title is a phrase from my friend Arnel who traded a inking that he did for one of my woodworking projects (iPad stand). This post also refers to my goal to choose each thing individually in life, rather than taking them from Potttery Barn. Elitist, a bit...
"On stopping by" (October 4, 2020) is about the pleasures of stopping by Bob and Mary's with cinnamon rolls -- just visiting and leaving the rolls.
Relationships
"Relationships, Story-telling, Word Choice" (October 24, 2021) is from the Gottman Institute. I note that all of the signs of a good relationship (practices?) are about story-telling and framing.
"Contempt and Criticism" (August 7, 2021) is a focus on two concepts from Gottman.
"The Four Horsemen" (July 30, 2021) is a summary of the Gottman idea of the Four Horsemen that wreck relationships.
"The Birdhouse." (June 29, 2021) refers to how I used to speak of Jennie about our relationship as a "birdhouse," painted and done. She helped me understand how it's a constantly-made thing. Relates it to CCL and her different understanding of relationship. Refers to Gottman.
"A Made Thing We Remake Continuously" (June 28, 2021) is the Marilynne Robinson quote about democracy that I connect to our marriage vows and an understanding of relationship in general, needing constant enactment.
"Wedding Vows" (June 21, 2021) is a copy of the vows we wrote for each other and "enacted" on June 19.
"The Country of Marriage" (June 19, 2021) is a Wendel Berry's poem that describes how it feels to be in love... like a wanderer back on familiar land, inadequate to love, surprised, nourished, guided by love. I posted this on our wedding day with a picture of us just entering "The Country of Marriage."
"Recent Lessons from the Gottman Institute" (April 19, 2021) recounts five new things I came across recently in the daily twice-weekly newsletter (3 things I love about you, building trust, nonverbal bids for intimacy, questions to ask after a fight, year end list of highs about the relationship)
"Intentional Mental Exercises" (December 23, 2020) is a badly titled selection from Gottman. It's about being intentional about naming the positives of your partner... make an actual list. In this instance, it's a "nice" list for the holidays.
"5 Things I Learned from the Gottman Institute" (November 28, 2020) is a list of 5 big ideas that I had learned from the email newsletter (several have videos attached to them)... 4 horsemen, bids, magic ratio, repair checklist, magic 6 hours per week.
"On Being an Emotional Mirror" (November 23, 2020) is the notion of psychologist Henry Ginott concerning the importance parents recognizing and accepting the reality of emotions in kids. Emotions are the water we swim in. Also the teaching quote about being the weather in the classroom.
"Signs of a Healthy v Unhealthy Relationship" (November 19, 2020) A little chart comparing the two - fogive/ hold grudges... validate/blame....
"On how you should treat people" (October 23, 2020) This is a chart with titled "why you should be gentle with people" (what you know of someone's life compared to the actual life. Also, a reference to the PBS show Maggie Cole, which seems to have this same theme.
"On Checking in Skillfully" (October 12, 2020) starts with an example check in from an old colleague via email. Then goes on to a couple lists I found that were about how to check in with friends (phrases to use). Finally, there's a list of things to say to a partner over text/email.
"Halloween Advent" (October 1, 2020) is about Kleon's list of scary movies that he is watching with his wife before Halloween. It's also about finding time to do things together as a couple -- supported by Gottman Institute passage. Couples that play together stay together. Couples that laugh, last. I tried to start a "poem a night" habit with Jennie... but it didn't last.
"Mundane Love" (September 24, 2020) is a short profile of Pam Houston and her new partner. I remark about how love manifests in the loved being more open to the world. And love is patient.
"On Generosity and Praise" (September 23, 2020) has selections from Amy Krouse Rosenthal, Lori Santos, Alan Jacobs and is about how you can praise someone and be generous.... in friendships, in partner relationships, and just in general. It strikes me now that the focus on "generosity" in the first few blog posts faded away.
"On a certain number of times" (September 22, 2020) is about The Sheltering Sky, Amy Krouse Rosenthal, and my sadness that I didn't really ever see or hear from Henry. It's mostly just an expression of that sadness compounded by the limited time we have.
"On Generosity" (September 17, 2020) is a recounting of John Greene getting a gift from AKR that's funny and generous.
Right Speaking and Right Listening.
"Right Speech" (May 30, 2021) Is the definition of right speech from Tricycle magazine.
"Inviting People to Say Yes" (May 24, 2021) is an Adam Grant quotation about how you phrase requests for help (I need to talk to you/I'd love to talk to you; I need your help/I'd value your help) and how the first will shut down future interaction.
"Right Listening" (May 18, 2021) is an unfinished collection of reflection on right listening and two excerpts from articles - at least one from Tricycle.
"In Praise of Praise" (May 7, 2021) is a typed journal entry from August 9, 2013 reflecting on the change in HDL after coach Dave praises him all week, says that he has "a golden boot." Also about Kathryn C., a student, who tells me how good it felt to hear her mom repeat praise from me to her.
"Ice Age Trail Solo Trip" (May 6, 2021) Not sure if this is the right place to index this, but it's about listening and not being distracted. It's a story of a young black woman who did a solo trip of the Ice Age Trail during the pandemic. She never wore headphones, instead just listened to her surroundings. She wonders what people are trying to get out of their time in the woods if they're wearing headphones. It's also about "reclaiming" unwelcoming spaces for black people.
"Stop Asking Children These 7 Questions" (February 1, 2021) refers to an author suggesting that we need to help kids be more creative and critical than our current education system is. Questions like "what did you disagree with?" "what would it take to do that?" "what did you fail at?"
"On Skillfully Talking to Friends: Think of Me When We're Apart" (December 7, 2020) This is a Philip Mott Tweet... that reflects on the key to conversations with friends -- show that you've been thinking about me.
"On Skillful Speech" (October 14, 2020) references several people on what right speech is... at this point my thinking is that it involves "scripts" to say in specific situations.... I include an image of "eat this, not this."
"On Checking in Skillfully" (October 12, 2020) starts with an example check in from an old colleague via email. Then goes on to a couple lists I found that were about how to check in with friends (phrases to use). Finally, there's a list of things to say to a partner over text/email.
Psychology/ Therapy
"What's mentionable is manageable" (November 29, 2021) is Fred Rogers' quotation about feelings:
Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.
"Carl Rogers' 19 Propositions" (November 23, 2021) the 19 propositions as "the group of statements which, together, constitute a person-centred theory of personality and behaviour."They represent how:Consciousness is experienced from the first-person point of view., Behaviour is a product of self-belief, A safe emotional environment is necessary for psychological change to take place.
"Amygdala... hijacked!" (November 7, 2021) is research on the amygdala hijack.
"Brain Chemical Cocktail" (October 3, 2021) is a link to a podcast by Loretta Breuning about happiness and chemicals. I think that I posted something on her on one of my first blog postings.
"IFS Protocol Script" (February 25, 2021) I was quite taken by IFS and Richard Schwartz for awhile. Here is the script of the therapy he does live with Tim Ferriss... it's quite affecting when you listen to it.
"Basic Nature of the Self" (February 18, 2021) refers to IFS and it's assumption of a curious "basic nature" of humans... that bad impulses, behaviors come from some sort of hurting.
"5 TILF on IFS" (February 15, 2021). Following a recent line of interest, I did some research on IFS.
"Soul Murder" (January 30, 2021) is a NextDraft piece about Trump being so humiliated from his loss that he will do anything to not threaten his identity as a winner... there's a psychological term called 'soul murder.'
"Self Protection and Cruelty" (January 28, 2021) is about the idea that when we can't face truths, we escape, we numb, we are cruel to others.
"Cognitive Distortions" (October 25, 2020) is a diagram and description of a number of them along with a reference to Joseph Goldstein reminding readers that it's not just others who have them.
"On the second half of your life" (September 18, 2020) is a posting from before I began the string. It's about James Hollis and how the second half of our lives have different things for us to focus on. We begin to take our life more seriously and make a change (our of exhaustion or b/c the game plan doesn't work). The key question is what is demanding expression through me. It talks about real and false conditions.
"On brain chemicals" (September 16, 2020) is a posting about Loretta Breuning book Taming Anxiety. What's interesting is (a) we need to learn what gives us dopamine hits, and (b) we need to distract ourselves (or others) when they get coritsol hits. Cortisol has a half-life of 20 minutes in your blood.
