Building your Reframing Muscle

Vincent Van Gogh Thatched Cottages in the Sunshine Reminiscence of the North, 1890

Leo Babauta writes about the power of framing to create our mood.  He write, "The way we view life is usually invisible to us, and yet it is probably the most powerful thing in our lives."  He writes from a Zen point of view.  This is another example of how Buddhism and Psychology are similar.  

I think that the notion behind writing 3 things you're grateful for and "excited about" are both ways of reframing the day.  I have many times reflected on my inability to even think of three (sometimes even one!) thing I'm looking forward to.

What I'm thinking now is that it's hard to "reframe" without content.... meaning, it's hard to be excited about a general day -- with no knowledge of what's coming in that day.  Maybe it's easier to do it with a list of tasks that will come... (grading papers, running a meeting, doing a post observation... walking with Jennie... making dinner with Jennie... texting my kids or parents).

(As I'm writing this, I'm having second thoughts about what I said... is the idea of "exited about" lists more about reframing or about planting some inherently interesting and exciting things into your day?  Maybe it's two different things... in any case, my point about the need for "actual content" stands, as does the need for some regular work/attention on reframing.)

Babauta writes about framing as a practice, like exercising... like in loving kindness meditation you work up to wishing well to people who are challenging for you to love.  But it can also be used to change your mood about things that you're not challenged by much... neutral things. 

His list is filled with ideas like "opportunity to...." and a great number of virtuous things.  

I'm thinking that this is similar to "setting intentions" and also about Ellen Langer's mindfulness experiments when she asks people (like musicians) to do things in "slightly original ways in ways that no one will notice.)

Some examples he provides of how framing can change things:

• An act of helping someone else might be seen as a way to impress others and get acknowledgement and love, or it can be a simple act of joyful connection with another human being, or a way to offer your gift to others.
• Answering an email can be another opportunity to mess up and look dumb, or it can be a way to connect with someone you care about, or a place of exploration and learning.
• Writing can be a dreadful chore full of pressure or boredom, or it can be a place of curiosity and play, or a place of deep contemplation and silence, or a way to sing your song to the world with exhilaration.
• Cleaning the bathroom can be a gross mundane task that you feel like avoiding, or perhaps a meditation practice helping you to be more present to your life, or maybe a way to connect your heart to all others who have to clean a bathroom.

He notes that our automatic framing can often be a problem, making us see things as burdens, as opportunities for failure or criticism.

From ZenHabits "Create a Powerful Framing of the World"

Choosing a Powerful Framing.The idea is to look at a situation, bring awarenes to what your current framing might be, and then decide to reframe it for yourself. Try on the new framing, and practice seeing things in this way for awhile, and see what results you get. There is no right answer. Pick a situation that seems particularly challenging: maybe you have not been eating healthily, or feel bad about yourself, or are frustrated with someone, or feel like you’re avoiding hard tasks, or have a hard time with a family member who is suffering through health problems. Take that one situation, and examine your view. What framing might cause the reaction you’re having? You don’t have to get it exactly right, but take a shot.Are you committed to that framing? Would you be open to letting it go and trying on something new?

Here are a few possibilities among the limitless number … a situation or task or person might be:

• An opportunity for play, adventure, exploration, learning.
• An opportunity for curiosity.
• An opportunity for compassion and love.
• A way to express your gift, your true self, to sing your song.
• A way to connect with someone.
• An opportunity for wonder, gratitude, appreciation, awe.
• A way to practice mindfulness, being present to your life.
• A chance to surrender, trust, relax with life.
• A place to practice letting down your defenses.
• An opportunity to deepen, to contemplate, to find solitude and silence.
• An exhilarating experience of freedom and openness.
• A place of spaciousness.
• A chance to savor, find the deliciousness, find the delight.
• A place to choose.
• A way to experiment, try something new.
• A way to meet your needs, to own what you want, to set boundaries with love.
• An opportunity to lead, to serve.
• A way to express your purpose.
• An expression of your power.