Purpose Centered Approach

Wild Thistle and Gray Wagtail, by Imao Keinen, 1891

AoM #425- Action Over Feeling.  and Grech 

Morita Therapy is Different than Western Psychology

I think that one of the things that characterizes a lot of Western therapy, and there’s so many different models, but is a focus, primarily, on feelings. So, I think the outcome that a lot of therapy is looking at is the idea of making people feel better, or feel more comfortable, or somehow be cured by getting rid of unpleasant feelings, like depression and anxiety. And the way I’m describing it, it actually sounds very attractive, except that I would argue that it’s not an effective, and even meaningful, outcome.

And so, what Morita therapy really does is, it looks at the outcome as to really help us live our lives well, not by changing our feeling states, but by learning to coexist with those feeling states while we do the things that are really important for us to do in our lives. And so, instead of trying to kind of fix our internal world, whether that’s through talk therapy, or dream analysis, or getting into our unconscious minds, it’s really a very practical approach. And we think of the East as being mystical, but it’s really a very practical approach of learning to cope with the ups and downs of our feeling states, and the craziness of our thoughts, the chaos in our mind, and still be able to not just live functional lives, but actually do the things that are really important for us to do in our lives

I think with depression, as with, I think, a lot of unpleasant feeling states, there’s a general sense that there’s a sequence to kind of curing ourselves. And the sequence is, first, to move from having an unpleasant feeling state to a pleasant feeling state, to essentially get rid of those feelings. And then, we can actually live our lives well. And what you see in Morita therapy is the idea that we can actually coexist with those unpleasant feeling states, even depression, while we do things that are important for us to do in our lives. And a nice benefit to that is that often, by making that shift to actually taking action and beginning to do those things, that’s part of our cure; that the movement from being inactive and non-purposeful, to actually doing things that are very purposeful and important to us, actually is part of what makes it possible for us to learn to cope with those difficult and challenging internal states.

[What is 'action'?] I think from a practical standpoint, I just like to use a very functional or operational definition, which is, action is what can be captured on a video camera. So you know, if you’re turning the pages of a book, if you’re playing the piano, if you’re taking a walk, that’s action, because you would be able to capture that. If you’re sitting there, kind of contemplating your goals for the year, or contemplating suicide, those thoughts are really not action; they’re thoughts.

part of what happens is that over time, if you’re practicing working with this material, even when you sink into a period of depression, you’re also aware of the fact that this is a transient experience; in other words, it will pass. It doesn’t make you feel good, but you’re aware that this is just part of the rollercoaster that goes on in terms of the internal world of our lives. And you’re also aware that even though you don’t feel like doing something, that the best thing you can do as an antidote to your painful feeling state is to get out there and be active. 

One of the things that really struck me about the practical value of this material, you know, was the idea that there is no permanent cure for anxiety, for depression, for shyness, for loneliness; that these are part of our human existence. And so, what we need to be able to do to live a good life is to actually learn to coexist with that experience, rather than the idea that somehow, we can find a cure, so that we’ll no longer experience depression, or we’ll no longer experience anxiety. And in that sense, I’ve found that this is a very practical way of going about living a good life, which is not trying to get rid of this in some permanent way, but essentially learning to cope with it when we find ourselves in these states of mind.

most of us live in a world in which our feelings are the primary determinant of our behavior. And so when we’re faced with a task, we either have a positive feeling about doing it; so let’s say, for instance, if you play tennis, or golf, or basketball, and you enjoy that, or piano, then you may have a positive feeling towards doing that. So, you have an attraction towards that task; or you may have an aversion towards it, like having a difficult conversation with your boss, or with your partner, or doing your income tax, for example. You may have a feeling of aversion towards that, or you may have a neutral feeling towards the task. But in many cases, when we have an aversion, a negative feeling towards doing something, we allow that feeling to determine whether or not we take action. So, it’s very much like opening the refrigerator door and saying, “What do I feel like eating today,” right? And that question itself is essentially a question in which we’re looking to our feelings to decide what kind of action we’re going to take, what kind of food we’re going to eat. You can open the refrigerator door, and you can ask the question out loud or in your mind, “What needs to be eaten?” And that’s a very different question, right? Maybe it’s things that are almost going to spoil, and you should eat them so you don’t have to waste them. Maybe it has to do with your diet or what’s healthy. So, you’ll get a different answer to that kind of question.

And I think one of the things Morita therapy does is to help shift people from what we call a feeling-centered approach to life, to a purpose-centered approach to life; which means that we still have feelings, it’s just that we’re not putting them in charge. So, I like the metaphor of a play within a theatrical setting; and that for a lot of people, their feelings are the director of that play. And what we’re trying to do is essentially, not kick the feelings out of the play, but just making them one actor or actress within the play. And then, your purpose or your purposes become the director of that play. What is it that you want to do with your life? What’s really important to do between now and the end of the year?

And so, your purpose essentially becomes in charge of the play, and your feelings still play a role, but they’re not running the show...  we’ve moved the focus of decision making from how we’re feeling, to what’s being presented to us in the world. And that’s a huge shift in terms of the choices that we make in our life.

you didn’t have to listen to your thoughts, and that in fact, when you became familiar with your thoughts, you realized that the vast majority of thoughts that you have are really pretty crazy thoughts. They’re chaotic, crazy thoughts that really aren’t often providing you with very good advice about how to live. And when you realize that, you stop taking your thoughts so seriously. And that’s part of, I think, what you learn in meditation. And it’s part of what I think we want to teach people psychologically, is that, you know, you can be married, and one minute you’re having thoughts like, “I am so lucky to be married to this woman. She’s just an angel. She’s just the biggest blessing in my life.” And 15 minutes later, you’re having thoughts like, “She is just such a selfish person. She doesn’t pay attention to me. What a stupid thing it was for me to still be in this marriage.” And this is 15 minutes later.

And if you had a roommate who was speaking to you the way your thoughts speak to you, you would think that, “My roommate’s really crazy.” So, I think part of what we learn is that we can notice our thoughts, but we don’t have to listen to our thoughts. And we can notice our feeling states, but we don’t have to act on those feeling states. And so again, this is something that we develop through practice as a skill. And once we do that, we have a certain amount of freedom, because we don’t feel like we’re a slave to what our thoughts are saying, or a slave to whatever feeling state we’re in at the time.

Concept of Kaizen

Right. And I think that what happens is that, by taking these very small steps, in some cases, like you’re saying, the smallest step possible, you’re able to celebrate that small victory instead of saying, “Okay, I’m going to use this weekend, and I’m going to write 100 pages in my novel.” And then of course you don’t, because things come up, and you’re tired, and you oversleep, and you get phone calls, and somebody comes over. And you end up hardly writing at all. And then you feel like a failure, right? And it’s very demoralizing.

And what Kaizen offers through these small steps is this idea of momentum. We can look at the law of physics, you know, one of the laws of physics from Newton, which says that an object that’s moving remains … An object in motion remains in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. So once we start getting that momentum, we write one paragraph a day for our novel, or one sentence a day for our novel, but we do it every day. We wash one dish, right? We take five minutes and commit to cleaning the bathroom. We meditate for one minute a day on our cushion. And doing that basically develops a really healthy habit in many cases. It allows us to make a little bit of progress, but it allows us to get this momentum, and to see ourselves as capable of doing that without the psychological threat that comes with, you know, “I’m going to lose 20 pounds this month,” kind of thing. So, I’m a big fan of Kaizen. And I think it fits very well with Morita therapy as an approach to making change

Purpose Centered Approach

Once the Newness Wears Off

I think my problem, historically, was much less around starting something than it was continuing to work on it once the newness of it wore off. And I think that’s what we see in people who have that kind of style and often leave this kind of karmic record of started, but unfinished, projects behind them; is that we’re being driven by the feeling state of excitement over something new. This, by the way, is very true about relationships as well. You know, you meet somebody. You just have this romantic period, where you’re just madly in love. You can’t bear to be away from them, you know, for more than a few hours. And of course, that doesn’t last. You know, that feeling state wears off.

And I always feel like when that feeling state wears off, that’s when you really can see what it means to actually love someone or be loved by someone. In that initial period, it’s just a wonderful, romantic period to go through; but in my opinion, it really has very little to do with love. You know, love is what is going on 10 or 20 years later, when that feeling state is not the predominant state. You can still have moments of feeling very romantic and excited by your partner. But we see this in relationships, where you know, someone goes from one relationship to another, because what they’re really working from is the excitement of the newness of something.

And again, it’s the same principle, which is making that shift from a feeling-centered approach to life, to a purpose-centered approach to life, so that you can still feel very excited about starting a project. It could be a novel. It could be renovating the basement in your house, or something like that, or learning a foreign language, or learning a musical instrument. But also, when that feeling state wears off, and you hit that wall, you’re then basically drawing your energy from purpose. You recognize that even though I don’t have that same level of excitement, I might even have a level of frustration at this point because I’ve run into this roadblock, but my purpose is to move forward on this and finish it.

And so that same issue, I think, is really in play when we see people who, once that newness wears off, kind of abandon that project; and that is that person learning to make that shift from that feeling-centered approach to what they’re going to do and not do, to a purpose-centered approach.

So you know, what we see is that from the point of actually getting started on some type of important project in your life, or some kind of change that you want to make, we’re up against roadblocks like every step of the way. And for me, I think the most effective way to work with those roadblocks has been to kind of develop some skill in being able to cope with the ups and downs of my feeling state, the craziness and chaos of my thoughts, but continue to keep my focus, my sights, set on what is it that’s really important for me to do here.

Brett McKay: I’m curious, you know, I can see action is a virtue, but is there such a thing as too much action? Like at a certain point, is it like, well, that’s actually, you’re going to burn yourself out if you’re constantly doing stuff?

Gregg Krech: Yes, I actually think there is. And I think that there’s actually a couple of issues. And one is that you’re doing a lot of stuff, but it’s the wrong stuff. And I think that that’s really a critical issue, particularly in our society, that we confuse busyness with productivity. And so, the real question isn’t are you busy, are you doing a lot of stuff, but are you doing the things that are really important for you to do in your life?

But even there, I think it’s important to have this complimentary, contemplative time in our lives. And the other approach that we teach is something called Naikan, which is pronounced like we pronounce the camera, Nikon, but spelled differently. And that’s a contemplative approach. It’s an approach to self-reflection. And so, having that to create some balance in our life between action and reflection, to me, is really a healthy way to see our lives. I just did a presentation last night about kind of regrouping for the second half of the year. And the first thing we do when we go into a process of regrouping is, we step back from our lives, and we reflect on the first part of the year, on the last six months, you know, with questions like, “What have the highlights of this period been? What are some of the things I did in this past six months that were really meaningful and fulfilling to me in my life? What contributions did I make to the rest of the world, people even outside my immediate family, during this time?”