Goals that are not totally self-centered

On Greg Krech's Thirty-thousand Days site, there's a posting titled: "Setting Goals for the Year that Aren't Totally Self-Centered."

Start with Self-Reflection

Before you grab a pen and paper and start listing goals for the year, take some time to reflect on your life. This not only gives you some perspective on your situation, but it allows you to identify goals that may go beyond your own self-interest. If our goals are purely self-centered, they are unlikely to be very satisfying in the long run. But goals which serve some purpose beyond our own happiness and welfare create meaning in our lives. They help us to feel useful and give us a sense of worthwhile purpose.

Write down your goals

Writing is a wonderful process for helping to crystalize your thoughts. So write down some goals and use the pages of notes from your self-reflection time as a resource. One idea that I have found useful is to identify key people who have been supportive and, after I have done Naikan on those individuals, to identify something I would like to do or give to each of those people.

For example, Steve, a colleague, went out of his way to loan me his car the week my car was in the shop.  He also let me use his woodworking tools to make my daughter’s bed and gave me a dozen tomato plants for our garden.  I’d like to schedule a weekend to have his daughter stay with us so he and his wife can go to Boston.

I try to limit my list to no more than seven people to make this a realistic goal. Once I have completed my list and have an idea for each person I have my first goal:  to give those gifts or services to each person I identified.

Also on this page is Krech's Naikan:

I recommend a method of self-reflection called Naikan. Naikan originated in Japan and was developed by Ishin Yoshimoto. His method asks us to consider three questions:

1. What have I received from _____?

2. What have I given to _______?

3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused ______?