I often find useful and wise ideas in the Gottman Marriage Minute. Earlier I wrote about the big ideas I’d learned this year (link). This idea, which details a normal and expected hazard of any long term relationship, is great in it’s practical advice.
Negative Sentiment Override is a relationship downer. In healthy relationships, it’s the nagging perspective that your otherwise supportive partner can’t seem to do anything right. You find yourself critical of their every move. When left unchecked, it leads to bitterness and contempt on both sides.
How can you shift the outlook on your partnership to a positive one? To begin, take a cue from the sentiment of the holiday season.
Instead of a naughty list, write down everything nice about your partner. You can be broad (“I love how you make me laugh”) or specific (“It meant a lot when you washed the dishes after that messy meal yesterday”). The goal is to come up with as many nice attributes about your partner as you can. This is a mental exercise of “Sharing Fondness and Admiration,” which is also an essential level of the Sound Relationship House.
The more intentional you are about looking for the good in your partner, the more good you will see
From the Gottman Marriage Minute
No comments:
Post a Comment