Happiness and Its Causes

 

From "Love and Compassion" in "An Open-Hearted Life"

Without reducing our attachment to those we consider "good people" and friends, the love we feel for them will be dependent on how they treat us. Such "love " is in fact partly attachment because it fluctuates according to whether people are nice to us or not. To have stable love that will endure the ups and downs of life, we need to reduce our personal sensitivity to what others think of us and how they treat us. This requires effort and internal strength. It is not about suppressing our emotional needs; it's about finding diverse ways to fulfill them. It also involves learning to take delight in caring about the well-being of others. In other words, the "reward" of loving others isn't that other love us in return. it's that we feel completely delighted and fulfilled simply to give love.

Definitions

Love is the wish for someone to have happiness and its causes; compassion is the wish for them to be free from suffering and its causes

Buddhist Happiness

Temporal happiness is happiness that we experience in this life chiefly due to external things, people and situations. For example, happiness is having good food, friends, possessions, success in our career and a happy family life. The causes of this kind of happiness are a kind and generous heart, patience, effort, acting ethically and making wise decisions. Spiritual happiness comes from transforming our heart and mind, liberating them from mental afflictions and developing good qualities such as love compassion, generosity, ethical conduct, fortitude, enthusiasm and wisdom. The causes for spiritual happiness come from training our mind in these good qualities.

Suffering likewise may be temporal or spiritual. Temporal misery may come from lacking the resources we need to live, not getting what we would like, not feeling good about ourselves and the human condition of being subject to aging, sickness, and death. Some sufferings are due to societal inequality. Others are due to how we look at life. When we cannot see the purpose of our lives, we may also experience spiritual suffering. This is due in part to having not yet met wise elders who show us a viable path to inner peace.

(what follows in the chapter is LKM)