Notes for a phone call with Henry's therapist

 In October of 2019, I made some notes to myself before a phone call with Henry's therapist.  It's a sad window back almost THREE years now.  

He's feeling hopeless - says nothing's going to get better, says academics will be bad until after college, our relationship, not able to "control symptoms," "not sleeping, "the divorce."

He's distanced himself from me - he's increasingly blaming me, (I had asked him to spend SOME time with me at the apartment... just dinners for now), vacillated about coming at all, last night "not coming over," and "I will not be coming for dinner tonight. Mom is telling me not to and I don't want to come home depressed like I do every time."

We spoke last night; he seems depressed, sad, blaming; says mom is acting out of control; mentally ill

I said I was worried, that he has options for college, including taking time off for a year; he says he's embarrased about divorced and "everything"

He said that if I really cared abou him, I'd help him really fix the depression... like medications

The end of the conversation was "you can text me some options about treatment."

So, I feel like he's at the end of his rope... and his mom is poisoning the well

I don't feel like I have a window in to talk to him... I'm not in a position to co-parent.

....

I made notes on what the therapist said to me... something about "don't compound the issues or catastrophize"... turn the self-loathing into self-love....  he's 'not receptive now'....

The notes bring up as many questions as answers.  

While now -- at the very end of June of 2022 -- there seems to have been some thawing (we walked in Starved Rock earlier this month... but then he's ignored my last couple texts... haven't heard from him since June 15 -- with only a single "Happy Father's Day" text in-between, and a vacation trip in Michigan that I only got vague references to (and was based on the mistruth that they were going to see Uncle Gerald -- there is still a lot of "not-receptive." 

I have lost most of my hope for this relationship -- and with my relationship with Charlotte.