Being himself doesn't solve problems* practice being the person*

Being himself doesn't solve problems

Carl Rogers On Becoming a Person.  “Persons or Science? A Philosophical Question” 

I am not a student of existential philosophy. I first became acquainted with the work of Soren cure her guard and that of Martin Luther at the insistence of some of the theological students at Chicago who were taking work with me. they were sure that I would find the thinking of those men congenial, and in this they were largely correct. while there is much in kierkegaard, for example, to which I respond not at all, there are, every now and then, deep insights and convictions which beautifully Express views I have held but never been able to formulate. the Kierkegaard lived 100 years ago, that help but regard him as a sensitive and highly perceptive friend.  200

I launched myself into the relationship having a hypothesis, or a faith, that my liking, my confidence, and my understanding of the other person's inner world, will lead to a significant process of becoming. I enter the relationship not as a scientist, not as a physician who can accurately diagnose and care, but is a person, entering into the into a personal relationship. insofar as I see him only as an object, the client will tend to become only an object. 201

As therapy proceeds… Consciousness, instead of being the Watchman over a dangerous and unpredictable lot of impulses, of which few can be permitted to see the light of day, becomes the comfortable inhabitant of a richly varied Society of impulses and feelings and thoughts, which prove to be very satisfactorily self-governing when that fearfully or authoritatively guarded. 203

But being himself doesn't solve problems. it simply opens up a new way of living in which there is more depth and more height in the experience of his feelings, more breath and more range. he feels more unique and hence more alone, but he is so much more real that his relationships with others lose their artificial quality, become deeper, more satisfying, and draw more of the realness of the other person into the relationship.

  Another way of looking at this process, this relationship, is that it is a learning by the client and by the therapist to a lesser extent. but it is a strange type of learning. Almost Never is the learning notable by its complexity, and its deepest the learnings never seem to fit well into verbal symbols. often the learnings take such simple forms as quotation marks I am different from others semicolon I do feel hatred for him; I am fearful of feeling dependent; I do feel sorry for myself; I am self-centered; I do have tender and loving feelings; I could be what I want to be Etc but in spite of their seeming Simplicity these learnings are vastly significant in some new way which is very difficult to Define  203/4

This is something which I feel welling up in myself, in the safety of an acceptant relationship what is it? is it sadness, is it anger, is it regret, is it sorrow for myself, is it anger at lost opportunities. I stumble around trying out a wide range of symbols, until one fits, feels right, seems really to match the organismic experience. in doing this type of thing the client discovers that he has to learn the language of feeling and emotion as if you were an infant learning to speak; often even worse, he finds he must unlearn a false language before learning the true one. 204

Practice being the person

Quote from Insight Timer:

Practice being the person that you want to attract. - Dr Wayne Dyer