From Verlyn Klinkenborg - "Several Short Sentences About Writing"
Here's another way to make your prose look less familiar.
Turn every sentence into its own paragraph.
(Hit Return after every period. If writing by hand, begin each new sentence at the left margin.)
What happens?
A sudden, graphic display of the length of your sentences
And, better yet, their relative length how it varies, or doesn't vary, from one to the next.
Variation is the life of prose, in length and in structure.
Having all your sentences in a column, one above the other, makes them easier to examine.
Suddenly you see similarities in shape.
You notice, for instance, how your sentences cling to each other
Instead of accepting their separateness.
And you can begin to stand koto/to retimple one,
that will help you understand how to revise
And make better sentences.
How many sentences begin with the subject?
How many begin with an opening phrase before the subject?
Or with a word like "When" or "Since" or "While" "Because"?
How many begin with "There" or "It"?
What kinds of nouns do you see?
Abstractions? Generalizations?
Multisyllabic Latinate nouns ending in "ion",
Or are they the solid names of actual things?
Is the subject of the sentence an actor capable of performing the action of the verb?
Can you adjust the sentence so it is?
Or does the subject of the sentence hide the action of entities that are able to act--humans, for instance?
How close is the subject to its verb?
Are they separated by an inserted phrase?
What does that do to the velocity of the sentence?
How many of the verbs are variants of "to be" "are,» "were,» "was,”1S," and so on?
Are the verbs active, energetic?
Or do they merely connect or arrange or present of relate?
Are the constructions passive?
How often does the word "as" appear, and in which ofits many senses?
If there's a modifying phrase at the start of the sentence,
does it modify the subject of the sentence? (It must.)
Can the sentence be broken in two or three?
Do these questions sound overly technical to you?
They're basic.
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