Middle Season #24 - 2026

 

are these mallards? cicadas everywhere, acorns in the grass, first raspberries

Friday. 21. 

1. Blow the bridge at the busy York Road there’s a big yellow patch of echinacea and beyond in the salt Creek. Great blue Heron just a small stones throw from the racing traffic.? Rudbeckia hirtq or trilobia. 
2. A fat spider right in the center of a web that’s 6 feet wide 7 feet tall
3. Big frog and a ditch on the other side of the creek whack is startled when I stop walking on the path
4. Another blue heron scene from the bluff sitting on a log head, pulled down, looking like he doesn’t wanna get his feet wet
5. Another heron scene to the west of the North Island mid deep in the water
6. Very few humans today because they closed the parking lot of the nature center to repave
7. Another 3 herons in the last leg of walk… on standing then two flying. They could be some of the same of course moving when I don’t see them. 
8. Mums out for purchase at wf. 

Sat 22

1. 5:58. Sky lightening but still no color only silhouettes. HB comes for long drink at feeder. Positions himself opposite me stays long time. HBs have depleted feeder water … leaving just a 1/2 inch of viable after 6 days. 
2. Sat
3. 9:53 taking ties off camper. The tarp still on. 
4. Cicada with one wing on sidewalk furious toylike wing flapping. Making tight crazed circles. 
5. The locust tree seed  tapes gettting pale yellow. 
6. Sidewalks and lawns filled with destroyed acorns. 
7. Listen to poured over podcast w Rachel Kushner. She names pale fire. And “Jean Patrick Manchette”
8. Cicadas loud overhead at 4:45. One crawls up my leg. I get closeups.  
9. In field park. Sw side of a tree beginning to blush. Maple?
10. Kushner quote about novel best way to know someone else. 

Thursday

1 . Fat and green acorns in branches

1. On ground   Cicadas dying dead squished chipmunk. Guts out. 
2. On the bike ride home from school going up the hill from Spring rock Park. There’s grass with a very bright and spicy smell that always happens at this time of the year.

Friday

1. 3:55. Fb. A group of Canadian geese in South Creek. And leaves falling cottonwoods in Sycamore’s and Bass Woods. And admits to them falling a butterfly, going to a sunflower, a many, headed sunflower in the air also the sound of the cicadas. in the sluggish water that’s not moving long stemmed plants in the water with heart shaped leaves now with Blue flowers
2. Male deer with short fuzzy antler stubs in the bed of the creek, looking wearily at me as I pass. Sense of walking through the air, thick with cicada sound like push, pushing through the thick sounds. Major grasshopper in yellow prairie flowers
3. 4:15. Short of sh7. These tall, many headed sunflowers with their pedals vent way back stylish, leaving just the heads openly exposed.
4. 4:25. Coming down the bluff hill. Chuffs mixed with cicadas. Frogs?  Autumn weeds along the bank of the creek with bright pink, one or 2 inch seed heads. catalpa bean pods, less intensely green, some turning beige and brownish.  A few monarchs and a few black black swallowtail butterflies but less than a couple weeks before. I thought it was a small dog barking at first, but it was a great blue heron with three or four squawks almost croaks and then a few more is it locked up stream.
5. 4:35. Robinhood. Further downstream, a snowy egret stocking on the Canada geese. A woman being pushed in a wheelchair on the paved part of the path. A young woman was down syndrome, wearing a cub, tank top, cub logo tank top riding a big tricycle. A man with a wife that was far humped over walking to the car in the parking lot. Be Mrs. a Place but they’re not perfect. Humans come to play.
6. 4;45. Loud cicadas where the damn used to be.same grasses that I noted on Thursday. Smell first. On the bridge from below with the wind. Then I walk down to double check and take a pic. ClownishLy orange feet of whatever these kinds of ducks are. They don’t look like mallards in the middle of South Creek.

Sat 29 of  Aug

1. Playing peek-a-boo with the past full moon thru suffer went windows to the west. Now it’s visible behind the trees. 
2. The big neighborhood hemlock has opened brown pine cones. Inch long?  And also tight green ones. Last years and new ones? Or a plan to spread seeds for a long season?
3. Pelecanos

3x10 Report - 24 - 2026

 

Garden

Continue to get cucumbers; tomatoes have slowed down; the garden box along the house is growing Black Simpson and arugula way better than the box along the basement staircase (planted at the same time); the little seedlings are another green.  Not sure why they don't thrive in this box.  First fall raspberries ripen.  

Guitar

This is the end of the second month of learning Weiss.  I have a good chunk of the beginning and the top of the second page memorized.  I've learned Giuliani Study #30 (p. 42) but still working on the very fast parts towards the end.  I practiced almost every day (from #155-#181 for the year)

Projects

Rest can feel irresponsible

This video talk resonated with me.  What she says about neurodivergent people using stress or pressure to get started on something... is pretty similar to what I realized years ago about "inertia" and getting started and how I got annoyed when I could get started with my task b/c I knew that I had only so much energy.

I like: Over time an unconscious rule can develop. 

Permission To Rest: Why You Keep Waiting

by Karelin Wadkins. (from Insight Timer)

Have you ever noticed that you could technically rest,

But somehow can't quite let yourself?

Maybe there's nothing urgent happening.

You're tired.

Sit down.

And yet,

Some part of you is still scanning the room.

Is everyone okay?

Does anything else need to be done?

Is someone else working?

Should I be doing something productive right now?

And only once everything feels completely handled do you finally get the internal message that says,

Okay.

Now you can rest.

I've been noticing this pattern in myself recently,

And I realize that I'm often waiting for everyone else to be settled before I can let myself settle,

Even my dogs.

I'm constantly checking that everyone has what they need,

That nobody needs me for anything,

And that everything is taken care of,

And maybe then I can relax.

And becoming aware of that has finally made me curious about where this internal rule comes from.

Because for many of us,

Rest isn't actually about whether or not we have free time.

It's about whether or not our nervous system believes that it's safe or permissionable to stop.

There are a few reasons why this can happen.

One is hypervigilance.

If you grew up in an environment where you needed to pay close attention to other people's moods,

Needs,

Or expectations,

You may have learned that relaxing too deeply wasn't a great idea.

Maybe you needed to be ready.

Ready to help.

Ready to respond,

Ready to look busy,

Ready to figure out what somebody else needed.

Your nervous system can carry that pattern forward long after the original circumstances have changed.

So even when no one is asking something of you,

Some part of you may still be waiting for confirmation that everything is okay before it gets to let us guard down.

Another reason might be people pleasing or caretaking.

Sometimes our sense of worth becomes so connected to being useful.

We feel good when we're helping,

Anticipating needs,

Solving problems,

Or making things easier for others.

But over time an unconscious rule can develop.

Other people's needs come first.

Mine come after.

And unfortunately,

There is almost always someone or something that could use our attention.

Which means that rest keeps getting pushed further and further down the list.

A third reason is something that I often see in neurodivergent folks.

We have learned to use pressure and anxiety to keep ourselves functioning.

For years,

Urgency may have been that one thing that helped us start tasks,

Remember responsibilities,

Stay organized,

Or meet expectations.

So when we finally stopped,

The absence of pressure can feel uncomfortable.

Your brain may immediately start searching for the next thing that you're forgetting.

Rest can almost feel irresponsible.

So what do we do with this?

I think one simple place to begin is to notice the condition that you're placing on rest.

The next time you find yourself unable to settle,

Pause and ask.

What am I waiting for before I give myself permission to rest?

Am I waiting for everyone else to be okay?

Am I waiting for the kitchen to be clean?

Am I waiting until nobody could possibly need me?

Am I waiting until I've been productive enough?

And then experiment with doing something very small but important.

Let one thing remain unfinished while you rest anyway.

Not everything.

You don't need to completely dismantle this pattern in one afternoon.

Maybe the laundry stays in the basket.

Maybe the dog is pacing around trying to decide where they want to lie down and you don't need to intervene.

Maybe someone else in the house is doing something productive and you allow yourself to sit on the couch.

And when that uncomfortable feeling shows up,

And it probably will,

You might gently remind yourself.

I don't have to wait until everyone and everything is settled before I am allowed to rest.

Because rest isn't something that we earn after perfectly caring for others.

Is one of the things that allows us to keep being present in our own lives.

And sometimes the work isn't learning how to rest.

Is learning that you're allowed to

January review

Journal to remember

1.  I did a lot of thinking about a "book" I was going to write from my collected journals... p. 67 listing teachers of the year; trying to build it into themes; p. 71 trying to make connections; p. 81 thinking about Foucault's work as a guide; p. 83 begin writing it out; 
2. I also was doing a "100 Best Things" and reviewing the whole year of blogs and journals
3. p. 72 commenting on "the sinkhole of threads... brain like a bottle of pop, shaken... how do you know what you like while being bombarded with ads and distracted from any sustained thoughts?; hard to turn away from TV... waiting to see the extraordinary
4. How to stay sane (p 73) make something today, notice things in the world, learn a song, stay connected/share gifts, opt out of the madness
5. p. 77 come up with new organization of book: On meeting the world, stopping, noticing, questing, being mindful, reflecting, Treating others
6. on p. 84 new organization of the book: turn of, tun in, engage
7. continue to do 3 items of grateful and 3 things I'm looking forward to... I begin writing "unrushed day" on each day
8. begin CSU! project at work -- going through old piles of paper; to make sure it gets done, I do it in the first 30 mins I'm at work, in opening block
9. I try some poppy tea
10. p. 65 - check the GTD (see books) also see books on p. 76; begin in earnest "Reports on 3x10s" - garden, projects (3x10s) (microprojects), fermentation, nature, adventures

Blogs to remember

1. RSS feeds collected
2. David Byrne throughlines of his work
3.  Food returns dignity (4)
4. Sartre  notes, Camus notes, Murdoch (resistance, responding to the plague, inhabited philosophy)
5. (TBone) Doing things we don't want to do
6. (Clear) enjoy the endless work
7. others: Henry IV notes; zen video notes - showing up for what needs doing; DFW interview
8. decide what matters next and go slow (?) - when you're feeling overwhelmed
9. Working on "book" -- calling it Flourishing...
10. Jorie Graham poems; excellent haiku - Now I can see the moon!

Little Alleluias (Oliver) Book Notes

 

10 when loneliness comes stalking, go into the fields, consider/ the orderliness of the world. Notice/ something you have never noticed before, // like the tambourine sound of the snow-cricket/ whose pale green body is no longer than your thumb.

13 - very Whitman incantations ("and I am the hunter.. and I am the fox... and I am the pawprint in the dust" etc) p. 24 - direct questions "do you have a question that can't be answered, (list continues). more whitman on 35 "bless the fingers, for they are as darting as fires. Bless the little hairs on the body... (etc)

19 - And I am thinking: maybe just looking and listening/ is the real work./ / Maybe the real world, without us,/ is the real poem

27 then the robins sings. // Then the bulb of the lily becomes the stalk,/ the stalk opens into a handkerchief of white light./.....  O, what is beauty/ that I feel it to be so hot-blooded and suggestive,/ so filled with imperative// beneath the ease of its changes, /between the leaves and the clouds of its thousand// and again a thousand opportunities? 

29 I know what is wonderful --/ I know what to hoard in my heart more than the value of pearls and seeds./ There was the day you first spoke my name./ There was a white house at the edge of the harbor./ There was the swan, and the hummingbird./There was music, and paper, and the tirelessly pursued work./There were a thousand and again a thousand unforgettable days. {a lovley section of a poem that is a love poem}

29 And, anyway, what is thought/ but elaborating, and organizing?/What is thought/but doubting, and crying out?

30 When the praying mantis opens its wings/it becomes a flower/When the egg breaks/it becomes a bird./ When the river is finished, its avenues of light/ fold and drop and fall into/and become the sea./

38 The vast, writhing/ worms of the sea/ are in their places// The white gulls/on  the wet rocks/ are in their places.//All is certainty.

41  It is the nature of stone/to be satisfied./It is the nature of water/ to want to be somewhere else.// Everywhere we look:/the sweet guttural swill fo the water/tumbling./Everywhere we look:/the stone, basking in the sun.

49. * Evening Star...section 9 of God poem... which I'll make 9/1/26 poem in here.

69. similar theme in poem "Black Snake" .. "But tell me, if you would praise the world, what is it you would leave out? Besides, he is only hoping that you will let him live his life."

72 The Hummingbird - make this 9/11 poem

92 Crows - make this 9/21 poem

111 from Blue Iris:  the fly and and the wind ask her what she's doing inside; she says writing... and it take stime.....

"It doesn't happen all of a sudden, you know.//"Doesn't it" says the wind, and breaks open, releasing/distillation of blue iris.//And my heart panics not to be, as I long to be,/ the empty, waiting, pure, speechless receptacle."

121 Tree Sparrows - make this 9/11 poem?

140 All through our gliding journey, on this day as on so many others, a little song runs through my mind. I say a song because it passes musically, but it is really just words, a thought that is neither strange nor complex. In fact, how strange it would be not to think it -- not to have such music inside one's head and body, on such an afternoon.  What does it mean, say the words, that the earth is so beautiful? And what shall I do about it? What is the gift that I should bring to the world? What is the life that I should live?

142 The different and the novel are sweet, but regularity and repetition are also teachers.  Divine attentiveness cannot be kept casually, or visited only in season.

I would like to be like the fox, earnest in devotion and humor both, or the brave, compliant pond shutting its heavy door for the long winter. But, not yet have I reached that bright life or that white happiness -- not yet.

143 But, anyway, I make little use of the schoolhouse; it is the natural world that has always offered the hint of our single and immense divinity -- a million unopened fountains.  In such a modd then, not of understanding but of knowing I am blessed even as moving from shade to sunlight we feel the engendering heat, I live my life...  Once I saw the freshly built dam of two beaver, a half moon of mud and slender branches, the leaves still fresh upon them; then, as I watched, the water shoved with its silver gloves and it broken, it left the world forever. Hurry, hurry, open every door! say my heart. The blnak ants, running up and down their organized hill, are an opportunity. The soft toad in the hot sand is an opportunity. One hour at the edge of the waving sea is a feast of opportunities. Every morning, tumult and quietude marry each other and create light.  The sun rises like a rosy plum. Birds, floating in the water, turn to watch. Sometimes, also, or so it seems, does the wind.

145 - poem - can you imagine - poem for 9/21?

156 And we might, in our lives, have many thresholds, many houses to walk out from and view the stars, or to turn and go back to for warmth and company. But the real one -- the actual house not of warmth and company. But the real one -- the actual house not of beams and nails but of existence itself -- is all of earth, with no door, no address separate from oceans or stars, or from pleasure or wretchedness either, or hope, or weakness, or greed. ("Wordsworth's Mountain")

162 And we are caught by the old affinity, a joyfulness -- his great and seemly pleasure in the physical world. Because of the dog's joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift.

164 Once, years ago, I emerged from the woods in the early morning at the end of a walk and -- it was the most casual of moments -- as I stepped from under the trees into the mild, pouring-down sunlight I experienced a sudden impact, a seizure of happiness. It was not the drowning sort of happiness, rather the floating sort. I made no struggle toward it; it was given. Time seemed to vanish. Urgency vanished. Any important difference between myself and all other things vanished. I knew that I belonged to the world , and felt comfortably my own containment in the totality. I did not feel that I understood any mystery, not at all. rather that I could be happy and feel lessed within the perplexity -- the summer morning, its gentleness, the sense of the great work being done through the grass where I stood scarcely trembled.  As I say, it was the most casual of moments, not mystical as the world is usually meant, for there was no vision, or anything extraordinary at all, but only a sudden awareness of the citizenry of all things within one world : leaves, dust, thrushes and finches, men and women. And it it was a moment I have never forgotten, and upon which I have based many decision in the years since.  ("The Perfect Days")

Setting up a commonplace book

 

Here's how @erinmstudy organizes her commonplace book:

1. write a quote or idea in the center of a page

2 below it, summarize it, restate it in your own words

3. below that, make a connection to previous thoughts

4. to the right of that, add questioning

5. at the top, add some use cases for when this might be beneficial.

The whole page gets filled up with a single idea... I especially like the restating, the connections, and the use case.

Dolly philosophy

Nicole Rifkin

Dolly died on 8/25. 

 Country music star and philanthropist Dolly Parton on making things better:

“I was born with a happy heart. I’ve always tried to let that shine even during my dark times. I’m one of those people who, even if things are not right, goes about trying to make it as right as I can rather than just lying around on my ass and wallowing in it all day. I think, “Well, I can either do this or I can do that.” I choose to get up and try to make it better if I can…

Of course, I try to improve every day. If there’s a better outfit, I want to wear it. If there’s a better song, I want to write it. If there’s a better record, I want to record it. If there’s a better movie, I want to make it. I will continue to be as good as I can be. And I intend to keep coming up with new ideas all the time.”

Source: Behind the Seams: My Life in Rhinestones​​​

12 Brand archetypes

 

search this up: link

4 habits* Foot exercises Collected* Conversational Handles*

 Four Habits*

You need 4 habits:

One that builds your mind. One that builds your body. One that builds your business. One that builds your relationships.

Foot Exercises Collected*

italics are "god bless!) guy

1. toes elevated on towels, push down
2. pull toes up with band, push down
3. elevate heels, then push up onto big toes
4. tennis ball calf raise (ball between heels) standing or seated
5. single leg raises with weights
6. banded calf raises
7. ankle ball overs (heel down, front of foot arches over ball)
8. banded foot separation (banded tibialis rotation) band on front of foot; 1:1 foot pulls outwards)
9. cross legs band between floot foot and toes, pull up
10. short foot drills - seated or standing; or standing on one foot

Conversational Handles*

@erinmstudy says that most conversations fail because the answers you give have no "handles"... what did you do this weekend? "I went out for coffee" versus "I went to that new coffeeshop downtown Clarendon Hills - dutch brothers - and had a vanilla latte"

Narrative Psychology + Buddhist Psychology

 New post?

This is not a strange pivot at all; it is actually a perfect intersection. While Western narrative psychology focuses on analyzing, editing, and improving the stories we tell, Buddhist psychology goes a step deeper by questioning the very existence of the storyteller.

In Buddhist psychology, the stories we tell about ourselves and others are viewed as the primary source of human suffering (dukkha). [1, 2] 

1. The Core Concept: Anatta (Non-Self)

In the West, Dr. Dan McAdams talks about building a strong, healthy "narrative identity." Buddhist psychology argues the exact opposite: your narrative identity is a total illusion. [3, 4] 

• The Fiction of "Me": Buddhism teaches the concept of anatta (non-self). There is no permanent, solid "you" inside your head. [5, 6] 
• The Mental Fabricator: The mind is constantly taking random, changing experiences (thoughts, sensations, events) and stitching them together to create a solid character called "I." [7] 
• The Trap: The moment you buy into a story—like "I am the savior of this company" or "I am an underdog"—you create a rigid ego that you now have to constantly defend, feed, and protect, which causes immense anxiety.

2. Papanca: The Avalanche of Mental Commentary

When you look at a neighbor and think, "They are so entitled and posh," Buddhist psychology calls this papanca (often translated as "conceptual proliferation" or "mental proliferation"). [8, 9] 

• The Spark: You see a neighbor drive by in an expensive car (a neutral sensory experience).
• The Avalanche: Your mind immediately explodes into a massive, runaway train of thoughts: "They are so posh. They probably look down on me. People like that are what's wrong with this neighborhood. I'm the real, hard-working one here."
• The Result: You have completely left reality. You are no longer interacting with a human neighbor; you are interacting with a complex, exhausting mental movie of your own creation.

3. The Mechanics of Suffering: Attachment and Aversion

Buddhist psychology breaks down our stories into two basic coping mechanisms driven by the ego: [10] 

• Attachment (Craving): We tell positive stories about ourselves ("I am the smart one who saved the meeting") because we are addicted to the temporary ego high. We crave the feeling of being special. [11] 
• Aversion (Resistance): We tell negative stories about others ("They are so stupid") to push away feelings of vulnerability, insignificance, or lack of control. [12, 13] 

4. The Solution: Western vs. Buddhist Approaches

The difference in how these two schools of thought handle your stories highlights their unique perspectives:

Dimension	Western Narrative Psychology	Buddhist Psychology
The Goal	Edit the script. Rewrite a contamination story into a healthy, empowering redemption story.	Drop the script entirely. Wake up from the movie and see reality exactly as it is in the present moment.
The Method	Reframing. Changing the meaning of the words and memories to build a better, stronger ego.	Mindfulness (Sati). Watching the thoughts arise, labeling them as "just thoughts," and letting them pass without believing them.

The Ultimate Buddhist Realization

From a Buddhist perspective, the problem isn't that you tell bad stories; the problem is that you believe you are the story.

When you practice mindfulness, you start to realize: "Ah, there is the 'Savior' story popping up again," or "There is the 'judgmental neighbor' story running." The moment you witness the story from a distance, it loses its power over you. You are not the movie; you are the space in which the movie is playing.

[1] https://www.buddhistinquiry.org

[2] https://www.stoichandbook.co

[3] https://www.facebook.com

[4] https://sujato.github.io

[5] https://wisdomexperience.org

[6] https://www.accesstoinsight.org

[7] https://www.instagram.com

[8] https://tricycle.org

[9] https://discourse.suttacentral.net

[10] https://www.reddit.com

[11] https://deeperwalk.com

[12] https://www.reddit.com

[13] https://www.wildmind.org

[14] https://www.lionsroar.com

To interrupt the runaway train of mental commentary (papanca) and drop the scripts we tell about ourselves and others, you need immediate, real-time circuit breakers.

Here are four practical mindfulness triggers you can use at work or home the moment you catch your mind spinning a narrative.

1. The "Just Like Me" Trigger (For Stories About Others)

Use this the moment you catch yourself judging someone else (e.g., "They are so lazy/stupid/entitled"). It instantly breaks the habit of "narrative flattening" and restores shared humanity.

• The Action: Look at the person and silently say to yourself:
  • "Just like me, this person wants to be respected."
  • "Just like me, this person is navigating their own hidden struggles."
  • "Just like me, this person is operating from their own deep programming."
• The Impact: It shifts the mind from aversion to communion, melting away the artificial boundary your ego just built.

2. The "Story, Not Fact" Label (For Self-Narratives)

Use this when you catch yourself looping on a self-narrative, whether it is an ego-boosting Savior script or a self-pitying Victim script.

• The Action: Mentally note the thought pattern and explicitly label it as a movie production rather than reality.
  • Instead of internalizing: "I am the only one holding this team together," pause and say: "Ah, the 'Savior Script' is playing right now."
  • Instead of: "They are leaving me out on purpose," say: "The 'Victim Narrative' has entered the room." [1] 
• The Impact: Labeling creates immediate psychological distance. You stop being the story and become the witnessof the story. [2, 3] 

3. The 3-Second "Sensory Anchor" (For Escaping Papanca)

Use this when a neutral event occurs (like an email or a look from a neighbor) and you feel your mind building a massive, stressful avalanche of assumptions.

• The Action: Drop completely out of your head and forcefully anchor yourself in your physical senses for three seconds:
  • Touch: Feel the exact pressure of your feet pressing into the floor.
  • Sight: Notice the specific color or texture of an object right in front of you.
  • Sound: Listen intently for the furthest ambient noise you can hear. [4, 5, 6, 7] 
• The Impact: Papanca requires abstract thinking to survive. By forcing your brain into raw, immediate sensory data, the mental movie instantly starves of oxygen and pauses.

4. Byron Katie’s Ultimate Question (For Rigid Assumptions)

Though popularized by author Byron Katie, this trigger aligns perfectly with Zen Buddhist psychology's emphasis on "not-knowing." When you catch yourself firmly believing a negative story about someone else's motives, ask yourself one question.

• The Action: "Can I absolutely know that this is true?"
  • Example: "The neighbor parked there just to annoy me." -> Can I absolutely know that is true? (No, I cannot read their mind).
  • Example: "My boss hates my work." -> Can I absolutely know that is true? (No, they might just be stressed about their own boss).
• The Impact: It instantly introduces doubt into the ego's rigid reality, popping the bubble of the narrative.

---

If you'd like to practice these, let me know:

• Which of these four triggers feels easiest to try first
• How to use these triggers specifically during a stressful workplace meeting
• How to handle the discomfort or boredom that happens when you stop telling yourself these stories

[1] https://www.instagram.com

[2] https://www.arjunaishaya.com

[3] https://www.talkwithwayfinder.com

[4] https://www.bucksfamilynetwork.com

[5] https://www.reachlink.com

[6] https://trueminds.com.au

[7] https://simipsychologicalgroup.com

According to Buddhist psychology, telling a story about a neighbor being "entitled and posh" serves two distinct purposes. The mind functions on two levels of reality: the surface level (conventional reality, driven by the ego) and the deeper level (ultimate reality, driven by unconscious existential fear).

Here is the breakdown of why the mind creates this exact script.

1. The Surface Level Purpose: Ego Defense & Social Position

On the surface, the mind uses this story to navigate daily life and protect your immediate self-esteem.

• Creating a Moral High Ground: By labeling the neighbor as "entitled," your ego automatically creates a complementary identity for you: the humble, hard-working, grounded protagonist. It is a cheap, instant way to feel morally superior without having to actually do anything.
• Managing Envy through Sour Grapes: If the neighbor has wealth, a nice house, or a luxury car, the ego can experience this as a threat to its own status. Instead of sitting with the uncomfortable feeling of envy, the mind transforms the envy into judgment. The story becomes: "They have more than me, but they are a worse person than me, so I still win."
• Temporary Emotional Release: Complaining about the neighbor provides a quick hit of dopamine. It discharges internal tension by focusing blame on an external target.

2. The Deeper Level Purpose: Protecting the Illusion of "Self"

At the deepest level of Buddhist psychology, the story is not actually about the neighbor at all. It is a desperate defense mechanism designed to prevent the ego from dissolving.

• Solidifying the "I": Buddhism teaches anatta (non-self)—the idea that the "self" is a fluid, empty illusion. The ego is terrified of this emptiness. To feel real, solid, and alive, the ego needs friction. By creating an "enemy" or a "foil" (the posh neighbor), the mind draws a sharp boundary line: "That is them, which means this is ME." The more intensely you dislike the neighbor, the more real your own ego feels.
• Distraction from Existential Anxiety: The mind is fundamentally uncomfortable with groundlessness, impermanence, and lack of control. Rather than facing deep, quiet anxieties—like our own vulnerability, aging, or lack of ultimate control over life—the mind prefers a loud, dramatic, superficial problem. Obsessing over a neighbor's perceived flaws is a highly effective smokescreen that keeps you from looking inward. [1] 
• Feeding the Habit of Separation: The ultimate goal of the unenlightened mind (avidya, or ignorance) is to maintain the illusion of separation. The story ensures that you view yourself as disconnected from the world around you, which keeps you trapped in the wheel of reactivity (samsara) and dependent on the mind's constant commentary to feel safe. [2] 

---

In short: The surface purpose is to win a imaginary social competition, while the deeper purpose is to convinces you that your ego actually exists.

If you are interested, we can look at:

• What happens to your energy when you stop feeding that specific story
• The Buddhist concept of "Idappaccayata" (interdependence) and how it reframes the neighbor's behavior
• How to transition from judging the neighbor to feeling genuine equanimity (upekkhia) toward them

How does this deeper breakdown resonate with what you've observed?

[1] https://www.facebook.com

[2] https://www.pbs.org

Yes, that fits perfectly, but it carries a brilliant and dangerous trap that you have just accurately spotted.

Your insight highlights exactly how the ego can weaponize even the most beautiful spiritual tools to serve its own surface-level purposes.

The True Purpose: Dismantling the Desire for "More"

When Venerable Thubten Chodron emphasizes a deep sense of internal contentment—the realization that who you are at your core "is enough"—she is trying to short-circuit samsara (the endless wheel of craving). [1] 

• The Striving Mind: The ego always believes it is fundamentally lacking. It screams, "If I just get that promotion, that car, or that status, I will finally be safe."
• The Antidote: "I am enough" acts as a shield against this craving. It anchors you in the present moment, teaching that you do not need external validation or material excess to possess inherent human dignity. [2] 

The Danger: The "Spiritual Ego" and Moral Superiority

As you wisely noted, the moment you use "I am enough" to look at your neighbor and think, "I see through all that posh; I am content with less, which makes me better than them," the ego has hijacked the mantra.

Buddhist psychology warns against this exact trap, calling it spiritual materialism or the creation of a "spiritual ego."

• The Hijack: Instead of dissolving your ego, the mantra is now being used to inflate it. The narrative subtly shifts to: "Look at how spiritual and unattached I am compared to that shallow, entitled person over there."
• The Result: You are still playing the exact same game of social competition and narrative flattening. You have simply exchanged a physical status symbol (a posh car) for a psychological status symbol (moral superiority).

How Thubten Chodron Reframes This

To prevent this exact trap, Thubten Chodron heavily emphasizes the concept of interdependence and bodhicitta (the mind of universal compassion).

She famously uses the analogy of the hand and the foot: [3] 

“When the hand helps the foot, it doesn't think, 'I'm so great! Look at me. I sacrifice so much for this foot. I hope the foot appreciates what I'm doing for it!' The hand just helps. There's no condescension or pride.”

Quotes by Thubten Chodron (Author of Buddhism for Beginners) - Goodreads

Goodreads

If you truly feel "enough," you don't look down on the posh neighbor, nor do you look up to them. You see them simply as another human being who—just like you—is trying to find happiness and avoid suffering, even if their current strategy involves chasing status symbols. Genuine contentment dissolves the need to compare entirely. [3, 4] 

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If you'd like to dive deeper, we can explore:

• How to use the "I am enough" mantra without falling into self-righteousness
• The distinction between healthy self-respect and ego-driven pride
• What Thubten Chodron teaches about overcoming the inner critic [3, 5] 

What do you think about that thin line between healthy contentment and feeling superior?

[1] https://www.facebook.com

[2] https://recoverydharmanyc.org

[3] https://www.goodreads.com

[4] https://thubtenchodron.org

[5] https://thubtenchodron.org

While neti, neti ("not this, not that") originated as an ancient Advaita Vedanta (Hindu) meditative approach, Venerable Thubten Chodron heavily integrates this exact logical process of elimination into her teachings on Emptiness (shunyata)and Searching for the Self. [1, 2, 3, 4] 

To Chodron, we spend our lives frantically gathering labels to prove we exist, and neti, neti is the precision scalpel used to peel those layers away. [5, 6] 

Here is how Chodron applies this process to dismantle our rigid self-narratives. [7] 

1. The Method: The Search for the Solid "I"

Chodron often guides students through a meditative thought experiment. When you feel a powerful emotion—like defensive anger toward that "posh neighbor" or intense pride in "saving a coworker"—the feeling of "I" becomes incredibly dense and real. [5, 8, 9, 10] 

Chodron instructs you to pause and physically/mentally search for that solid "I" using neti, neti: [5] 

• Am I my body? No, the body is just a collection of bones, skin, and organs. Neti, neti—not this.
• Am I my thoughts? No, thoughts arise, stay for a second, and vanish. If I am my thoughts, I would disappear when the thought does. Neti, neti—not that.
• Am I my social roles? (The simple person, the good practitioner, the victim). No, those are just temporary conditions. Neti, neti. [1, 6, 11] 

Chodron notes that when you look for a solid, independent entity behind the label "me," you cannot find it. The self only exists dependently, like a car made of parts. [5] 

2. Popping the "Spiritual Ego" Bubble

This is exactly how neti, neti protects the "I am enough" mantra from turning into moral superiority.

If you start thinking, "I am enough because I am a spiritual, unattached person who doesn't care about luxury," Chodron's teachings urge you to apply the scalpel to that new identity: [5, 12] 

• "Am I a 'spiritual person'?" Neti, neti. That is just another cardboard cutout story the ego built to feel safe.
• By negating the spiritual label, you prevent the mind from building a pedestal. You realize you aren't "better" than the neighbor; you are just a collection of changing physical and mental parts, exactly like them. [1, 5, 6] 

3. The Shift from "Inherent" to "Conventional"

Chodron does not want you to become a nihilist or pretend you don't exist at all. Instead, she differentiates between two versions of the self: [3, 9] 

• The Inherent Self (The Illusion): The solid, dramatic hero or victim who is inherently right, separate, and needs defending. This is what neti, neti destroys.
• The Conventional Self (The Reality): The functional person who pays taxes, drives a car, waves to neighbors, and experiences life. [5, 9, 10] 

When you practice neti, neti, you stop taking the inherent self so seriously. You realize that your stories are just passing weather. [5, 6] 

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If you'd like to try mapping this out, we can explore:

• How to use neti, neti specifically when dealing with an inner critic
• The four-point analysis Chodron uses to meditate on emptiness
• How to balance having professional goals while practicing neti, neti on your career identity [13] 

Which of these directions speaks to your current practice?

[1] https://www.reddit.com

[2] https://www.youtube.com

[3] https://thubtenchodron.org

[4] https://blog.glo.com

[5] https://thubtenchodron.org

[6] https://www.youtube.com

[7] https://sravastiabbey.org

[8] https://thubtenchodron.org

[9] https://thubtenchodron.org

[10] https://thubtenchodron.org

[11] https://thubtenchodron.org

[12] https://sravastiabbey.org

[13] https://thubtenchodron.org