Over the past couple weeks, I've been spending time each morning listening to a Course on Insight Timer App called "Mindfulness Daily." The short (10 minute) talks are given alternately by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. I wanted to record my notes on each session on the blog, but maybe in chunks of 10.
Here is Part 2 of my notes. Here is Part 1 of my notes.
Day 21. Beyond Thoughts. We can access the gap between thoughts; usually the stream of thoughts is reinforced by fear-based, limited, stressed self; when we're attuned to the senses, we become connected to others, free. There is a "field of presence" beyond thoughts. Notice the difference between thoughts (thinking, worrying, imagining) and awareness of sound, sensation. Rest in our senses. Look directly at the nature of thoughts -- where do they come from? go to? The mind naturally produces thoughts. Become curious about the gap; note the background o experience that is always here. (Do you find instances when you're limited by thoughts?)
Day 22. Mindfulness: the core practice. Be open to the whole play of experience; be a spatious relaxed witness; steady and attentive in midst of all; centered, mindful, at ease, keep heart tender. Settle yourself: relax and alert attention Take some deep and relaxing breaths; begin with mindfulness of your anchor. For first jin or two, return to anchor; let things rise and fall like waves. Take time to steady yourself in this way; now include stronger waves that arise - receive sound with kind attention; name it 'hearing' then return to anchor. Next - emotions, thoughts, sensations. Shift attention, name, "tingling, planning, sadness,' then return to anchor. (What's favorite part of training? awareness of breath, relation to thoughts, relaxing body, intense emotions)
Day 23. Self Judgment and Self Compassion. The tendency to feel not good enough can arise in all areas of life. We have a natural negativity bias: we fixate on times we've fallen short; we have a 'trance of unworthiness." The sense of 'not enough" influences area of life, our capacity to be in touch with others, to be creative, relax, enjoy the moment. We feel like damaged goods, or less, needing to improve ourselves. The key to stepping out is mindfulness: "Oh, there's the judging mind again." The power to free ourselves from self-judgment. We should be able to see "I'm hurting myself with judging' we should feel tender. See imperfection without the toxic layer of self-aversion; we can re-wire neural pathways. Name self-judging and pause... be with it.. then return to anchor. Notice when feelings and thoughts arise, notice if there's also the layer of self-judgment. (In what areas of your life do you encounter self-judgment? career, relationship, when I step out of comfort zone, when I compare myself to others).
Day 24. RAIN. Acronym for recognize, allow, investigate, nurture. Recognize - what's happening inside me? raw fear, helplessness? name it. Allow life to be; maybe whispering "this too." Investigate experience. Have curious attention, inquiring. Where are the feelings? Where am I stuck? Where vulnerable? Nurture with kindness; feel/ heed the need for care, affection, forgiveness. Send kindness inwards. Example of someone annoyed with co-worker. Start with blaming... allowing... witness clutching and tension, which also has self-loathing, sense of lack of respect. Each round of doing this deconditions our reactivity.
Day 25. Emotions and Inner Resources. Sometimes when we encounter large emotions - fear, despair, traumatized, we feel frozen (we can't fight or fly). We have no access to mindfulness; we can find no refuge. Practice: remember people, places, and situations where we are confident and safe; word (may I feel safe and loved). Best to practice when we are not triggered; where the attention goes, energy flows. What in you needs to be supported? Love, ease, strength? What's your kind place? Who brings you ease, connection, strength? Lengthen your breath. Breath in confort and ease. Are there words that give you comfort and ease? Whisper them... rest. Relaxation, connection, Groundedness, well being; letting go of what's not needed. Realize these inner resources were already there. (how well do you handle difficult emotions?)
Day 26. Beginners Mind. Seeing with fresh mind with clear eyes and renewed presence. Accurate observations of clarity of perception. See things they are, not filtered by old perceptions. Natural joy, fully feeling sensation. Be curious and interested without judment, discover fresh response. What does the mysterious process of being alive feel like right now? Imagine watching newborn breath for first time. All experience are new. Interest, wonder. Different, novel texture. Experience river of life with kindness and freshness. Witness the mysterious appearance of life moment by moment. Note how ephemeral and transparent thoughts are. Carry this into your daily life... shower, eat, listen to music, watch the setting sun.
Day 27. Spacious Awareness. Skylike mind. One benefit of mindfulness practice is spacious, clear, non-reactive, even in stressful situations. At ease, the quality of open gentleness. Serves those who we are with. Being: allow yourself to be still; listen to the play of sounds around you -near/far, they arrive and vanish without trace; listen in relaxed, open way. Clear, open mind not limited to size of head; it's hug, open like clear open sky. Vast like space. Awareness opens in every direction, like sky; let sounds come and go like clouds; without resistance; rest in awareness. Feel body - the field of sensation, vibrations, pulse. Transparent, timeless, and without conflict... allowing all thought, not limited by them. let it be filled with kindness and compassion, loving awareness, trust it; it's home: your own true nature.
Day 28. Equanimity. Conflict, illness, loss of loved one, divorce. Composure among turning seasons. A Balanced mind. Not indifference, but deep understanding of passing nature of things. not thrown off by good or bad, but responding to everything with a peaceful heart; how will we respond to fear, reactivity, contraction, or with wisdom. Names the serenity prayer. Calm and centered. Practice: take a seat with graciousness and dignity. Take a few deep relaxing breaths. Rest your attention on natural breath. Sense the benefit of living with peaceful heart; invite peace to grow. All things have the nature to rise and pass away. May I live amid the changes of world with a peaceful heart. May I May I... Now, think about something difficult in life and reflect how you can meet with with a compassionate and peaceful heart. Offer "may you too live with a peaceful heart" to others.
Day 29. Who am I? Mindfulness of Awareness. Starts with story of a teacher drawing a V on a piece of paper. Asks, what is it? Birds, the students say. He says, "the sky with birds." Develop an "ocean of awareness" - everything you perceive is happening; awareness is always here. So far we've focused on objects of awareness; now we can focus on awareness itself. Be open, watchful, tender. "The backwards step".. who we are beyond the racing thoughts. The nature of us is the awareness. Relax back into purity and radiance of your own awareness. (How do you define who you are? what I do, things I love, accomplishments, aspirations.)
Day 30. Empathy and Compassion. When we're under pressure and stress we are not empathetic. Meditation makes us key into other's emotions. Two key parts: let yourself be touched; respond with compassion. You have to turn toward vulnerability. Rilke - I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world. Bring to mind someone you care about who is hurting. Imagine yourself in these circumstances... what is it like to look at the world through these eyes? To live inside this particular body, to feel with this heart. Experience this person's fear, hurt, loss. What is most vulnerable part? What does she most need? Let yourself go into the universe. Enlarge your breath with compassion with all who have felt hurt or loss or failure. Awareness becomes suffused with compassion. As your heart opens, you become that openness.
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