Over the past couple weeks, I've been spending time each morning listening to a Course on Insight Timer App called "Mindfulness Daily." The short (10 minute) talks are given alternately by Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. I wanted to record my notes on each session on the blog, but maybe in chunks of 10.
Here is Part 3 of my notes. Here is Part 2 of my notes. Here is Part 1 of my notes.
Day 31. Forgiveness. Unfinished business of heart. We can be emprisoned in the past, locked in suffering. We need to release anger and blame to start anew. Forgiveness doesn't mean 'condoning what happened." Forgiveness is about ourselves, not others. Even if this practice doesn't seem to be working, do it. The intention opens the door. Let mind and body relax, breath gently into the area of your heart. Feel the barriers you're erected because you've not forgiven (yourself, others) feel your intention to let go and open heart anew; breath softly, begin forgiveness practice: first bring to mind someone you've hurt, feel the pain you've cause -- "in the was I've hurt you, I ask your forgiveness, please forgive me." (x3) Stay tender as you witness whatever arises within you; take some moments on ways you've hurt yourself; with kindness of grandmother, "Just as I've caused suffering to others, I have hurt myself. I offer myself forgiveness (x3). Pick 1 person who you might offer forgiveness to yourself. Bring attention to one who has caused harm. See it was caused by confusion and unmet needs. To the extent that I am ready, I forgive you, I release you. I it feel incomplete, say, it is my intention to forgive you.
Day 32. Seeing Goodness. We each need for our essential value to be seen and honored. This means that when we're able to bear witness to goodness in others and ourselves as well, it's a precious gift. Focus on good doesn't come natural to us. What we do is scan for danger, the negativity bias. It's not a gratifying way to go through the world. How to move past the negativity bias and self-doubt, defensiveness, fear. See the world as a caring grandfather or mother would. We need 6x the positive comment to each negative comment. Teacher story- teacher asked each student to write one good thing about each student in class; she shared the good things and that set the stage for the year. We tend to stay with the trance of unworthiness. We can rewire our brain. We can see the "original goodness" in people. Buddhists use that term. We tend to see it in kids -- their innocence and ability to apprehend beauty. Look for the secret beauty in others. See past the dog with leg in the trap and see the being who wants to love and be loved. Child like beauty that "shines through". The greatest gift we can offer each other is to become mirrors of goodness. We have to remind each other to trust our intrinsic creativity,wisdom and trust purity of hearts. Practice: picture someone easy to love; visualize how they look at you, their sparkle, aliveness. What are the quality you most appreciate? How do they show you their love? Their brightness? their playfulness? Imagine sharing this with them and how they'd appreciate hearing it. Now imagine they're gazing back and appreciating the things they most love about you. What are they seeing? What are the the qualities of your original goodness that you most appreciate? Perhaps honesty, humor, kindness, love of natural world. IF it's difficult, picture happiness as a child and your OG. Imagine your trusted dear one. Hold yourself (hand on heart) with appreciation and love. Now picture other loved ones one at a time and tune into their goodness (in their current self or, for more challenging relationships, him or her as a child, happy and at ease.) Be a mirror of goodness, sharing appreciation, imagine how they would take this expression of love.
Day 33 Intention. Setting intentions affects practice. If you become aware of intention, you develop clarity, focus to achieve best results. Intention precedes action, when you do a task, the same act done out of resentment or frustration or just get it done with or done wanting to be done in a caring and loving way produces different results. "Tune in" to your intentions. Pause and check intentions before you act, especially in stressful situations. What is your best and well meaning intention for the well being for all involved? you can also set long term intentions: compass of the heart; align life with best goals. Set intention to be motionless... first not the urge to move, then note the intention to move... only then make the movement. Notice even the intention to think about something; reflect on long term values and how to live according to them. Let "noticing intention" become a natural part. (how mindful are you of what you want to accomplish in everyday life? I'm centered on urgent tasks. I find I'm usually on autopilot. I base it on due date.
Day 34. Conflict. What happens when you're stuck in blame, anger, defensiveness, hurt? These are ways to help: perspective, reasoning, flexibility, empathy. flight, fight, freeze don't help. Natural primative, primal reactions. You can "attend and befriend:" 1. Pausing, stepping into your own shoes, stepping into others' shoes, express without with feeding more conflict. Don't perpetuate the chain of anger. You may need to say "excuse me, I need a moment." Lashing out creates momentary power... it fuels further hostility. 2. step into your own shoes - what's behind your own anger? 3. what's behind their anger? fear? unmet needs? Think that the other person is in a trap. 4. Communicate to connect and understand. We want to feel close, connected, not hurt, rejected, disregarded. These can change lifelong patterns of defensiveness. with clear and kind attention. (How do you usually resolve conflicts?
Day 35. Listening. Mindfulness - listening to our lives; take in 50% of what we have heard. What's getting in the way? "wanting" - our own agenda for the conversation, "aversion" - irritated, don't like it, feel judged. Components: 1. intention, anchor, attitude of openness... willingness to be changed, curious... what's beyond the words. "The plants in your garden need your listening." Employees, family do. Let your body and mind be receptive. (How good of a listener are you?)
Day 36. Mindful Speaking. Is this the mindfulness thing that has the biggest impact? Everyone leaves conversation feeling loved, heard. Also there's possibility of wounding, disrespectful, hateful; bring your kindness and authenticity; speak what is true and helpful; not about wants and fears. When we mislead or pretend, when we are less than honest, we create a breach of trust, distancing ourselves and reinforcing patterns of not being authentic; key steps: pause, 2. ask what is motivating me? what might be the outcome? 3. What is deepest intention? Nourish healing intimacy in saying "I love you, you're beautiful" with your whole self; it can transform the world. Don't : gossip, criticism, white lies, exaggeration. Ask: what is my intention? is it to avoid conflict? control power, protect self, impress? prove? make someone like you? Ask: what is best intention: how might you express yourself in a new way? (ow mindful are you of what you say to others?)
Day 37. Trusting and Inhabiting Your Being. Obsessive thinking (etc) old pattern will arise. How are you to deal with them? Being at ease with old habits requires trust; awareness and kindness that's basic to who you are. All mindfulness will steady and compassionate heart; hard times can deepen wisdom; what happens can serve to deeepen your understanding and awaken your spirit (this reminds me of Life is Your Curriculum). You can become increasingly resilient and kind; Stop incessantly preparing, let be, feel joy. "Neruda: you can pick all the flowers, but you can't stop the spring". Collect your attention with your breath; let senses open; be alert and relaxed; pay attention, notice, stay curious, keep changing, keep doing what you love. Everyone is frightened, everyone needs to live with fear. It matters that you care, feel, notice, don't be afraid. Be relaxed, open, alert. Don't be afraid. Make your intention to say yes: to unpleasantness, fear, excitement, longing, satisfaction, strength, peace, contentment, joy. These things are life living through you.
Day 38. Generosity and Service. MLK says, "If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures." Mother Teresa, "don't draw your family circle too small." Don't give money, but your support, good cheer. Generosity goes hand in hand with happiness; expression of caring; living from a generous heart, respecting our situation and needs. Step 1 - tentative givin; set intention of 3 acts of kindness per day. Step 2 - brotherly, sisterly giving; Step 3 - royal generosity - so much good will, it flows; tend and nourish the garden of the world. Picture your random acts of kindness, experience in your heart the generosity; imagine the pleasure of others' receiving that generosity. Think about 2 separate people who would be pleased; then imagine people at work. (How giving are you to others?)
Day 39. Nourishing a Grateful Heart. How does mindfulness practice help us live our life. Master Eckhardt: "If the only prayer you only said was thank you, that would suffice." The sense that something's wrong. Mindfulness deconditions us to scan for what's wrong. What's around the corner. Open to the here and now. Stop thinking about what should be different, and appreciate/satisfaction of what is. Mindful presence is ground of gratitude. Stop when you're feeling gratitude. Pause. Consciously savor it. Feel how gratitude feels in the body. Express appreciation to people and what's happening. Vonnegut: "If this isn't good, what is?" Cultivate. Write 3 things you're grateful for each day; have a grateful buddy. Attitude of appreciation that encompasses whole life. Happy for no reason. Love for life itself. Bring attention to someone in your life who brings up a strong sense of appreciation and love. What most arouses your sense of gratitude? Ways they've been kind, generous, attentive. Feel it in a visceral way - how you feel it in your body and heart. Mentally whisper their name and say thank you. Again. Imagine that person receiving your gratitude and having that connection of warmth. Now open to other parts of life and say what am I grateful for? People, places. Open to felt sense of gratitude and sensing how it lives in your body and heart. Notice how your heart is in these moments. Feel touched by life, offering yourself into this larger universe. Cultivation of gratitude brings grace to our life and joy to al we are with. (how much gratitude do you have in your life? I have a tendency to complain about trivial things; i have a good grasp on the concept; I'm thankful for every day; this course has helped in this regard) (2344)
Day 40 Aspiration and Vision. Apply mindfulness in daily life, wise speech, mindful communication, generosity, trust, gratitude... all grow strong while practicing. Capacity of appreciation will sustain you. Not times of ease, stillness. Savor the feeling. This innocence and goodness is inside, born inside. Everyone has it. World needs you to live in a joyful and creative spirit. Set an aspiration for the long term. Aspiration: be kind, live fully, offer gifts, love fully. What is your own long term aspiration? As you meditate, listen for what these intentions might be for you. Shift to practice to lovingkindness and send it out across the world. (what's your favorite part of the course? being aware of breath, being more attuned to body, developing a better relationship to thoughts, how to manage my emotions better) (2286)
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