On checking in skillfully

I got this text from Beth, who was a colleague for many years and who has been retired for at least half a dozen.  

Thinking of you as you get started with school in the classrooms! I hope it all goes well and that everybody can hang in. Hope you are well too. Best of luck! Beth

It was nice to get this little check in.  I've been wanting to do a regular check in with friends and family for awhile.  I even put regular reminders on my electronic calendar.  But I'm not consistent.  And maybe, because I don't have specific things to say, the friends and family aren't so excited to hear about it.

 

It made me think that the "check in" is a life skill.  It can be done skillfully in a way that others perceive as a positive part of their day.  It can simply be a meaningful gesture.  It might be that the person needs to vent a bit and this is the opportunity for sharing.  It also shows that you care about how they are and that you're interested.  An "end of life" (oddly) website shares these ideas, though, to my point above, maybe they're all a bit overly general (as opposed to the "partner" examples at the bottom of this post).

For a regular check in, here are a number of ideas.

1. I wanted to see how everything is going. 

2. This made me think of you. 

4. I wanted to see how I could help. 

5. I would love to talk about the project you’re working on. 

7. I’ve been missing you and wanted to say hi. 

8. Hey, how are you doing?

9. I was just thinking of you and wanted to say hi. 

10. I’d love to catch up on what you’ve been doing!

11. I wanted to see if everything is OK. 

Here are some different ways you can say, “Just checking in on you,” to someone who’s experienced a loss or tragedy. 

13. Please let me know if I can help in any way.

14. I’m so sorry to hear about ___. I wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.

15. I know you’re having a hard time, and I’m here if you want to talk.

16. Sending you positive vibes.

17. I’m so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to share my condolences and check in on you.

18. Just a quick reminder that you’re loved.

Here are a couple, from Elitedaily that involve checking in with a partner over text:

1. Read this and thought of you! *Link to article.* Hope you're having a good day!"

2. Can you believe this was a year ago today? You're the best, and I hope you're having the best day. *Insert picture from this day last year.*

3. "OK, I'm in a meeting, but I cannot stop laughing about that *insert funny thing.*"Just wanted to say thank you for the *insert nice thing they did recently* and I hope you have an amazing day."

4. "You will not believe what just happened, cannot wait to tell you about it in person and hear all about your day. *Flower emoji.*"

5.  "I want to know how you are, but I really want to know what you ended up wearing. Send an outfit pic when you get a chance!"