On "it might have been otherwise"

Jane Kenyon and Donald Hall photo link

Otherwise by Jane Kenyon (1947-1995)

I got out of bed/on two strong legs./ It might have been/ otherwise. I ate/ cereal, sweet/ milk, ripe, flawless/ peach. It might/ have been otherwise./ I took the dog uphill/ to the birch wood./ All morning I did/ the work I love. At noon I lay down/ with my mate. It might/ have been otherwise./We ate dinner together/ at a table with silver/ candlesticks. It might/ have been otherwise./ I slept in a bed/ in a room with paintings/ on the walls, and/ planned another day/ just like this day./ But one day, I know,/ it will be otherwise.

I'm thinking about this poem.  And thinking that the flipside of this appreciation named in the poem is not so much rejecting what we have but being unaware of them.  

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Being "unaware" of things is being acclimated to.  

I'm holding up this fact in my mind's eye:  H is not interested in having a relationship; C continues to "hate" J.  

Am I to be happy that at least H and C are physically well, even if they do not choose to be in a relationship with me?  

Or is this "lowering my expectations"?  

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There's an identifiable energy to "wanting things to be different"... (is this a form of Buddhist "craving"?) This is not a positive energy.  It is not, in Pema Chodron's words, "opening to the unknown future as thrilling rather than threat."  It is like sending out "good vibes"... but actually sending out "controlling vibes." 

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In the past 16 months, it's not like pushing a rock uphill, or pushinga wet noodle.

Instead, it's like pushing a dog's head away from his food.

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