At the funeral today, how empty the blandishments sound ("don't worry, she's in a better place." and "she's hanging out with her mom and dad," and "you'll meet her there!") and yet, how, amidst that claptrap (that left the son nodding resolutely), direct and practical admonishment not to lose hope (do no self-harm!) "What she would have wanted for you now.... you must honor that.") and to recall stories.. and his way of intention setting about "this is a CELEBRATION" to set the scene.
Also, how crazily affecting "Ave Maria" was (as well as other more pedestrian church songs... be not afraid...)
I was emotional at the moment that I thought to tell the widower: "now she's not yours anymore" (this was a desire to say it unbidden by anything) and then the thought "and we are never truly anyone's..." we slip away... thing we thought permanent...
And now, while writing this, memory of Jennie, tearfully, "don't ever leave me."
This is the year that I discovered everything is fragile.
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