Trust, respect, etiquette

In the Chapter titled "What I want is not to have to discuss the rules of the game," in Killing Commendatore, Murakami presents a post-coital scene between the narrator and a married woman he's sleeping with.  She says,

"So this is what I think," she said. "I'm playing the game according to my set of rules. And you're playing according to yours. The two of us instinctively respect each other's rules. As long as the two sets don't conflict and mess things up, we can go on like this without a hitch....

"But you know, I think there's something even more important than respect and trust. And that's etiquette....

"if all those things - trust, respect, etiquette -- stop functioning, the rules clash and the game breaks down. Then we either suspend the game and come up with a new set of rules we can both follow, or we end it and leave the playing field. The big question then would be which of those two routes we decide to follow."

This section has the feeling of authorial message.  Etiquette -- the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group -- and instinctual respect and trust is the oil that lubricates all social interactions.  When these things erode, there is disrespect (disdain?), mistrust or wariness, and -- according to synonyms.com -- the opposite of etiquette: boorishness, rudeness, singularity, nonconformance